Sadly, the older I get the more I see just how badly people suck...including me. I really need to lower my standards.
this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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At this point I'm not sure if it's undiagnosed adhd that makes me socially isolate, or if it's genuinely better just chilling with my wife and her family who are pretty rad compared to everyone else I meet.
at least you have someone cool and close to you in your life
You can be cool by yourself!
There's a tendency to think social isolation is bad or think something is wrong with us for doing it. IMO most people who go out and party all the time are also just "socially isolating", by putting up a front, drinking etc, with no real deep connection. No vulnerability and openness. If you have deep relationship with family you are probably better off.
Your wisdom could be telling you not to waste your time going out with shallow folks. Having 1 or 2 deep friends is nice.
Obviously, I know absolutely nothing about you, and if your standards are some over the top expectations or demands then you should stop calling them standards.. BUT if your standards are healthy boundaries and some basic safety precautions then by any means try not to mess with them even when the situation is rough — this can burn for a looong time..
I'll be your friend!
Weirdo!
But seriously that’s the way it really is. I think we need neighbors as badly as friends these days. It’s those casual second order relationships that contribute to a feeling of community.
Completely agree. I haven't had a beer with a neighbour since I moved to my new appartment. We chit chat in the elevator with some of them, but now I'm just waiting for them to find out I'm in IT and electronics, so I could invite them over to fix whatever 😁.
Hey, it's practically begging, I know, but I actually don't have any more friends. A few died in car accidents, some from heart attacks, some in the pandemic and the rest are abroad 🤷.
Same, my friends are dying quicker than I can make new ones
Why do you think I spend my time here, lol 😂.
Full agreement and I think it’s one of the biggest reasons why I need to be involved in communities. “I know you, I like you, but I don’t have the time or energy to hit you up just to chat on purpose, if circumstances change we may become friends” is a really nice relationship to have a lot of.
Being able to say “My man!” to the mailman and have that be that is strangely undervalued. The interaction is positive even if mostly insignificant and that gives a little boost of social confidence.
I realize this is maybe an excuse but it's hard to be friends with my neighbors after learning that they wouldn't wear a mask to save a life.
My brain works a lot like a cat. Loudly meow about how badly I need attention, for the first little bit it's the best thing ever, then I hit a moment where I yell STOP and run away.
When you're neurodiverse and the guy in the top right 🙃
I don't need friends, they dissapoint me
strikes pose
Don't make fun of me like this
I relate to this so hard
It's also hard to make enemies as an adult.
Right, the challenge in either case is to get people to pay attention first. Society is dying from indifference not malice.
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