this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2023
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Programmer Humor

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10 Worst Programming Languages (i.ibb.co)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (5 children)

People sure like to dunk on PHP. I'll take whatever flak for this, but this is the kind of meme a .NET fanboy or Ruby on Rails bro would make when they haven't touched any languages other then their prescious, and don't know wtf they're talking about.

PHP, after all these years, is STILL running 78% of all sites. That's not because it's garbage or the worst. It's solid, reliable, mature and very well documented. And I say this as someone who has gladly moved to Python, but also work in in others.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most of the hate for php was born back in version 3 or 4, when it was a mess. Also a lot of people who where in college in those years learned php as a first language.

Combine a language that does not enforce good coding practices and a lot of people making their first website, and you get some pretty horrible codebases.

As part of my job is to maintain legacy php websites, I've seen lovercraftian nightmares. I love modern php, but I get where all this hate is coming from.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've seen lovercraftian nightmares

I love this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Once I had to fix a website with everything in the same script. Every page, every bit of html with inlne CSS and Javascript, was there in a gigantic sequence of else if, with functions (with embedded business logic) to output the common bits.

I mean, the streets of R'yleh were more navigable than... that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You can write bad code in any language. Looks like you hit the jackpot with that one.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yep. It's almost always a matter of bad programming practices rather than bad language.

[–] axtualdave 3 points 1 year ago

Popularity doesn't necessarily imply good. For example, we used to put lead in all the gasoline.

[–] Freesoftwareenjoyer 3 points 1 year ago

People who say those things usually don't know the language very well or haven't used it at all. I see the same with JavaScript. I don't get why some programmers are so ignorant.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

PHP was the first language I did any significant coding in. I will never use it again if I can at all avoid it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I'm a Python guy ✌️, this is a meme

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm just gonna go out on a limb and ruffle some feathers and say it's node.js

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, that’s a runtime. But yes, JavaScript.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

regular javascript is actually okay in my book. It's just node.js that I despise because of all it's weirdness. Javascript should just be able to be opened in a browser and run with no fuss.

[–] Freesoftwareenjoyer 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Javascript should just be able to be opened in a browser and run with no fuss

It can be. But if you want to have modules you need to use something to compile them into a single file.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There are native modules, no?

[–] Freesoftwareenjoyer 1 points 1 year ago

Yes, but then the browser will fetch them with separate HTTP requests. You might not want to wait for 10 requests to finish before your web app can load.

Also if you want to use the features of TypeScript or SASS (many people do), you will need to turn that code into something the browser will understand.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I’m glad I got out of webdev when node.js started taking off.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

WordPress has made me the Python developer I am today.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yes, but WordPress !== PHP. It's one of the worst examples of what PHP can look like and they resolutely refuse to adopt modern standards or improve in any way. They still use SVN too. Bunch of backwards troglodytes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Modernizing that project would be a nightmare. It's maybe the code base with the most plug-ins, and they should be supported while deprecating and gradually phasibg them out.

I'm working with a client that's built more code in custom plug-ins than Wordpress itself, I'm ambivalent on them not using a more modern code. On one hand it's hard to work with what Wordpress is right now, on the other rewriting all of those plug-ins is a monumental task.

But yeah, at least use git.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

PHP has more $s in it than spez's eyes

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I came into this thread ready to defend the honor of Lisp.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I feel like I should make a "10 Best Programming Languages" one and put 10 versions of Rust in.

Wait, is there a RustJerk over on Lemmy? We need a RustJerk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

LOL yeah, I checked out the source repo for kbin because I was curious what it was written in and I saw a lot of PHP. I'm not a web dev so I don't know PHP myself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pretty sure brain fuck should be on this list.

[–] fubo 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The point of "esoteric" programming languages like Brainfuck or Befunge is to be a source of puzzles for people who enjoy that kind of puzzle. They're not "bad programming languages" any more than an escape room is a "bad apartment".

[–] Cainisdelta 4 points 1 year ago

Oh yeah. Well if it's not a bad apartment then how come everytime I try to get freaky in one they kick me out. Litterally leasing a room from someone and I can't even enjoy the privacy of my new home? It's like they have cameras in the rooms too. How could it be a good apartment if there's cameras in there. Clearly a bad apartment.

[–] InfiniteVariables 2 points 1 year ago

me excited to try an escape room for the first time

Some scruffy dude watching anime on a tablet: "Key is taped to the inside of the lampshade. Flip the light off on your way out yeah?"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Solid analogy

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Well it's fun to write an interpreter for...

[–] baascus 2 points 1 year ago

Relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzRfvwo1iNU

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

While I'm no fan of PHP, I feel like it gets a disproportionate amount of hate when there's some clearly worse languages out there. Where's the hate for Perl, Bash, Visual Basic, or Matlab (never mind specialty languages like Spice).

Or how about some controversial ones, to add some spice? C is often popular for it's simplicity, but it's arguably a terribly designed language. Undefined behavior is terrible. Pretty much no modern language makes the mistakes C made, so it's pretty clear we've universally agreed it was bad design.

Or for another one, Lisp family languages are popular in academic circles, but does anyone truly think all those parentheses made for a practical language? I think the near absence of any modern software being built with Lisp family languages speaks for itself.

[–] lhx 1 points 1 year ago

Yuuuuup. PHP is the worst.

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