Anyone can stuff a few kumquats into their mouth. But Only I can swallow a whole bucket of them in one swift motion. In fact, I hold the Guinness World Record for consuming the most kumquats underwater while reciting Shakespearean sonnets. Unofficially, of course – they had to create a special category just for me. Just last week, I casually snacked on 47 kumquats during a high-stakes poker game in Monte Carlo. My opponents underestimated me, thinking I was distracted by the citrusy delight. Little did they know, I was calculating pi to the 50th decimal point using nothing but mental arithmetic and kumquat-induced focus.
this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Ask Steven Seagal
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2 quarts of cum.