this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] aeronmelon 62 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I didn't eat it, but I started to bite down.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

lol well don’t beat yourself up about it, that’s understandable, and to be fair, it’s a great movie but I wouldn’t expect politicians in Texas to understand the message.

The men on the Green Mile were forced to carry out the execution of John Coffey (like the drink but not spelled the same) despite knowing he was probably innocent and might’ve genuinely been what religious people would call a vessel of God.

It’s a tragic story but one of Stephen King’s best because it does a great job of highlighting the hypocrisy of modern Christians. If Jesus came back tomorrow, they’d find a reason to persecute and execute him again.

[–] aeronmelon 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Me, no longer able to distinguish fact from satire: "I'm tired, boss."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Fair. To be honest I just wanted to share my thoughts about The Green Mile. I love that movie lol. Sorry I made it all about what I thought!

[–] aeronmelon 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No, it's okay. Low-hanging joke.

I need to watch the whole thing someday. Only saw parts of it way back when the only way to watch a movie was to catch it on cable.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

You really should. It's amazing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you've never read it, the book isn't terribly long! The movie is an excellent adaptation, though, still worth a watch.

[–] aeronmelon 2 points 1 week ago

I've been meaning to get back into reading, so I'll add it to my list. Thanks.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Damn I chewed

[–] TheLowestStone 2 points 1 week ago

It's a pretty believable headline.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

The Onion's on fire these days

[–] niktemadur 11 points 1 week ago

All at the same time, a synchronized execution!, at a packed and roaring Great American Ballpark, or whatever it is they have in that fundamentalist, god-forsaken place, russia with Stetsons and deep-fried butter sticks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I laughed and then I stopped because remembered to check if it was satire first.

[–] eran_morad 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Fkn brutal, got damn

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago