this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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[–] Glowstick 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

I... don't understand. I must be missing something or the question they asked must be skewing things or something. Infidelity means cheating on someone who you promised to be monogamous with. Breaking a major promise to someone just to give yourself pleasure is obviously immoral. Like, obviously. I could see people having different opinions about the level of its immoralness, but i can't imagine how someone could think it's not immoral at all.

[–] Donkter 16 points 6 months ago

Yeah and what does "not a moral issue" mean? It's asking a question about morality. I would suspect the question may have been translated differently into things like French for so many people to be confused enough to believe it's not a question of morality.

[–] platypus_plumba 8 points 6 months ago

Yeha, this makes no sense.

This would make more sense if they were asking if open relationships are immoral.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I would assume it means having sex outside marriage. Not seen as a big deal on France. Big deal elsewhere, but its a spectrum. There are lots of promises we make, that we don't keep. Some are big, like infidelity, in most countries. Some are smaller and breaking them isn't immoral.

If you promise to pick up bananas on the way home and forget that's not a moral issue. I assume the same level of commitment is considered in France by some, for sex. For others, they may just accept infidelity as normal and just ask that its kept private.

[–] Glowstick 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Not a big deal” doesn’t mean not immoral. Littering is not that big of a deal, but it’s still immoral.

And your banana analogy doesn't fit, because the person simply forgot to get bananas, infidelity doesn't happen because a person forgot that they were in a monogamous relationship

[–] BluesF 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Your morals and the morals of >50% of French respondents obviously don't align.

[–] Glowstick 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That's not at all a certain conclusion, based on the other possibilities i listed that could've led to these same numbers. It's at least as likely that it's a badly constructed poll. There isn't even a source cited for this picture. As the science saying goes: garbage in, garbage out

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

At the invitation of Mitterrand’s widow, Danielle, the former president’s mistress, Anne Pingeot, and Pingeot’s and Mitterrand’s 21-year-old daughter, Mazarine, stood beside Mrs. Mitterrand at the funeral in Jarnac LA Times

Some countries don't find it that big of a deal. Different strokes, as the saying goes.

[–] Glowstick -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Not that big of a deal" doesn't mean not immoral. Littering is not that big of a deal, but it's still immoral.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Yep, and I learned in my Freshman Sociology 101 class that morals aren't absolute.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Well life go on. Whether it's moral or not, the best thing you can do is letting go, we aren't tied to each other for life.

It's not a question of pleasure but feeling. Yes the unfilled promise hurt but that's not something you have complete control over. And we may make mistake and realize we prefer this and that. However, you have to talk and share to your so.

[–] a4ng3l 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Isn’t Japan famous for sexual services used by married man? And isn’t it pretty much accepted ?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Yep, but those are paid services. Most women would probably prefer their men don't go to places like that, but (edit: in Japan) paying for sexual services is considered very different from cheating. It's a job and transactional in nature. Find another romantic partner and that's a very different issue/transgression.

[–] a4ng3l 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeaaahhh pretty sure my wife still cuts my balls if I resort to that…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Yeah cheating and paying for sex etc while married are basically viewed as the same thing in most western countries. I meant Japanese culture in particular often views them separately.

Given how Japan is not an outlier in this list, I'd bet this survey was worded to imply cheating specifically, or used a translation for "infidelity" that is only used for deceitful cheating and isn't used to refer to paid sex services. There are mixed opinions in Japan on paid sex while married though, so some may not take any issue with it at all, for others it'd be the same as cheating, and for most it'd be in a sort of grey area in between.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Infidelity by whom? I suspect that the actual answers are not symmetric among the genders.