Perfect caption already exists https://mander.xyz/post/12422557

Imagine s perfectly spherical penguin

The penguin makes forward progress because it depends on an open-source software stack that continuously improves with time, even if the penguin exerts no effort.

This way, Mr. President.

While attempting to Press F to pay respects, the F becomes impatient and attacks. Rolf attempts to intervene, but the F raises its spear and prepares to strike, riding on a firework.

Rolf's fingers are unnaturally shaped like a bed with wheels, a deformity since birth which causes him a great burden.

Timothy the tuxedo man is distracted by a new episode of the real housewives, and will soon be slain by F. Timothy the tuxedo man is cursed to die in Rolf's deformed bed-hands.

"After Mario throws him from the mountain, baby penguin is rushed to the emergency room"

Linus torvald making the linux kernal faster

Yes do as I say

Lol I haven't seen that image in decades! Hahahaha red physics intro book?

Who said you needed a computer to run Linux?

The caption is already perfect

Next up on Jackass...

Firefox penguin hospital bed rush machine.

"Hurry Jerry! Parking lot F is just ahead, soo we will be able to start our new lives together!"

If the man is pushing the penguin east at six mph along the equator, the penguin's speed relative to the sun is 1038 + 6 = 1044 mph