And Finally...

same

This is the best summary I could come up with:

KILLINGWORTH, Conn. - Animal rescuers "suspected the worst" when they encountered a pair of black vultures in very rough shape earlier this month in Connecticut.

A Place Called Hope, which treats injured birds of prey, responded to help the sick vultures with Watertown Animal Control.

"Unable to balance, stand, kept passing out or in our eyes, actively dying... we ran every test and in the end, they were too drunk to fly."

After "ruling everything else out," the rescuers determined that the vultures had likely been dumpster diving the day before the eclipse and "getting themselves into something that was fermented enough to cause severe intoxication."

The rehab facility said the incident can serve as a reminder to people to make sure dumpsters are kept closed, as some fermented fruit cocktail can have harmful effects on wildlife.

Black vultures are a common sight in Connecticut all year round, according to the state's Audubon Society.

The original article contains 267 words, the summary contains 154 words. Saved 42%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

I hope they got a taxi home.

Too drunk to fly? Time to get high ☺️