this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
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Mental Health

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I feel like everyone eventually gets annoyed with me, and I just always end up alone. I loose all my friends, and Ive never really had a healthy loving partnership. I just feel hopeless

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

How do you feel about yourself? Do you like to be around you in an abstract sense?

[–] Anamnesis 6 points 2 months ago

Like all things in life, it's a numbers game. You do your best to improve yourself, and you put yourself out there as much as possible. Some people only need a single roll of a d4. Others need a couple dozen rolls of a d20. Can't control the dice you're given, you can only control how many times you roll.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes. But I model it as a problem I have, not something inherent to who I am.

It really behaves like it’s inherent to me, but I can’t stop trying to get over it.

[–] GardenVarietyAnxiety 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This might be helpful. It helped me =)

It's ADHD focused, but I think some of the concepts are universal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7SFuoNe2DI

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

For me it's more of a personality disorder* than a type, but still the answer is yes.

Though also kind of reinforced by my environment, lacking money/transportation/activities and even when I started riding on the trail (mostly to get in shape, some shopping, never really talked w/anyone) the section near me was closed in both directions for maintenance and still closed 6 months+ later.

*=SzPD (Schizoid)

[–] Atin 4 points 2 months ago

I have a disordered personality too, Avoidant.

[–] JayEchoRay 2 points 2 months ago

I know I cannot provide advice in this sitaution because I get what you are saying as I too have been dealing with the thoughts.

It can be difficult, I have had a LOT of instances of bad things happen because of my misaligned views ( been told I need a priest to exorcise the "demons" kind of bad) and I am still have to deal with my sitaution and the invasive thoughts that come with it. It takes a lot trying to deal with it, but somehow in my life I have at least found a few people that have accepted me.

Like I don't need to maintain constant contact but for me it is being "accepted" is a lot ( a low bar I know) and in some cases just recently have been in contact with someone I haven't heard in years, but I can still feel comfortable communicating with them after all that time.

I mean I really do not like my life where I am at and there is a lot of things that I wanted to do and want to do but cannot because there are reasons beyond my control. At least for me, it feels like I am hanging by the sinews of the good will of others.

So yeah, just a long winded reply going on about sharing in the pain. I don't know what the answer is but I have tried to push myself lately to dig myself out of things otherwise I would be drowning in the tunnel that I am stuck in.

I been doing writing stuff and trying to be more involved in social media a bit more has been my "digging" out attempt

[–] GardenVarietyAnxiety 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This is a fantastic video that made a lot of my own feelings about this topic click. I know the situation has escalated since you posted this, but please take the few minutes to watch it.

It's ADHD focused, but I think some of the concepts are universal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7SFuoNe2DI