I have been really struggling with my health at the moment, more than usual, with my autoimmune disease. Yesterday my specialist mentioned there is a possibility that I have a very serious side effect of my autoimmune disease. This is the sort of serious complication that has a 5-year mortality of 30-50%, so it is pretty nasty. It is about as bad as it gets with this particular disease. Now I have to go off for further tests and wait about a month to hear. I am trying not to overthink, but then also, surely they wouldn't have bought up something so nasty unless they were fairly certain, right? I really don't know what to think about it all, and since I have decided to keep it to myself unless it's confirmed, I am going to vent to you guys.
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Vent away friend.
I suppose I am just getting it out of my system chatting to you guys. I don't want to get too worried cause it seems ridiculous for something not confirmed yet, but it's hard not to think worst case.
Of course. I have a rule not to worry until you have to worry but gee that can be hard at times.
The best thing about this community is you can let loose and you've got nothing but support here.
That is usually my ethos, too, but it's hard with this one. Still, I know that once I get it out with you guys, I'll forget about it in a day or two. I do appreciate the support here. It's why I felt comfortable posting it.
Waiting for test results is the worst. Vent away here whenever you need to scream into the void.
It is the equinox today and boy the darker evenings are getting noticeable.
Iβm going to miss the light evenings so much. Itβs depressing being in out in dark doing stuff after work every day.
I don't usually have issues with daylight savings but this year has really knocked me about for some reason. Maybe it's hitting the big five oh? Maybe it's exhaustion from the "work-home-go to sleep for God's sake please kids" cycle? I've found the darker evenings comforting, whereas when I was younger I loved the extra daylight on a gorgeous evening (more time to enjoy beverage indulgence).
Finally got some musical inspiration back!!!! It's been over 3 months since I've written anything. Fuck it feels good!
To briefly bitch:
What the fuck is the point of paying for delivery if it's going to end up at a storage facility that's only open during office hours.
Fuck off Team Global Express and JB Hi-Fi. Not worth the $15 extra I paid for delivery. Was already having a really shite day.
Just threw two couches out at the tip. No one wanted them :( tried to donate but no go.
Have to say everyone there was a middle aged bloke taking all their aggression out on throwing inanimate objects into the pit was hilarious.
For me it was the end of an era. The amount of times I parked my arse on those things.. ate, spilled food, wine, all the movies, the discussions had good and bad, .. almost had me teary.
RIP two couches :( I will never forget you.
Farewell dear couches πΊ
I've been listening to these "true story" YouTube channels lately.
Just general tales of dangerous or weird situations people have been through.
A few days after I started, I realised something and felt very stupid for not thinking of it earlier:
What counts as danger for a woman is completely different than what I would consider danger. Situations that I would consider a nuisance can be life or death for a woman. Something as simple as a weird looking guy walking up to chat to me can turn into utter chaos for a woman.
It's opened my eyes in a really big way, and like I said, I feel dumb as fuck for not thinking about it sooner.
/rant incoming.
spoiler
Glad to hear you've seen the light. Not being ironic here, all too few men get this. Complicated by the fact that for a very long time indeed (and still continues a bit) the ideal of 'feminine' beauty has been to appear as small, weak and fragile as possible for their body type. And hampered by constrictive clothing and stupid shoes. This includes highly invasive surgery and horribly restrictive lifestyles to appear smaller and skinnier than their natural body. Just glance at any high fashion magazine or look at any movie or tv show. Even the 'strong' women have to have at least something about them that screams "I can be victimised!" to appear 'feminine' to Hollywood and most mass market publications. Even the ones marketing 'health'. Just look at the shoes in Sex in the City. Or how scrawny most Hollywood 'heroines' are. Even the ones toting guns.
This weird situation appears to be changing a bit, but still has a long way to go. It's still far too true that the most dangerous place to be a woman is still in their home - the stats on domestic violence are horrifying. Random violence from strangers is a lot less dangerous statistically speaking, but gets a LOT more publicity.
I am so glad I am no longer young, and am therefore a lot less vulnerable. It's been one of the most liberating things that has ever happened to me.
So disappointed at the lack of rain. Grrr. Feels like everything has stayed grimy and dusty.
Gotta haul myself outta bed. Cmon now...
Was lucky enough to get the first place we applied for (and I know we are very, very lucky in that regard!!), but now begins the moving process which I hate so much. This will be my 8th move in 12 years and I haven't learned to stress less during it. Coupled with this being the busiest time of year at work, I might just be a total idiot. But the place is cute and I'm excited!
Have to get up really fkn early tomorrow, to start my trial shift at 8am.
I have to catch the tram at approx 6.20am. π± least it's only 4 hours and not a full day lol.
If they accept me, I'll be asking for Arvo shifts for sure.
Good luck.
I have just realised my car is now 18 years old. Does that mean it is eligible to get its own driver's license and become a self-driving car?
Total sleep was 4 hours, and today's going to be the most intense and active of the trip. They hired some drongo gardener to start cutting the lawn at 7:05am for some stupid bloody reason so I lost out on 30 extra mins of sleep. Also waking up when it's 12Β° is very hard and difficult and this is why I'm gonna pack up my shit and move to marble bar at the earliest opportunity
Once youβre on the plane you can have a snooze. Iβm a chronic non-sleeper myself the night before a flight, always get nervous Iβll miss it! Happens to lots of people, nothing to worry about. Airport is full of bleary eyed people stumbling through. Hopefully all goes smoothly for your trip!
Cloudy day in Adelaide (this was taken out the plane window)
Look out, look out
Itβs a flying baku
Beware below or he mightβ¦,
Adelaide day! I'm dishevelled, disorganised, and discombobulated. Flights out at 12, gotta be at the old 'port by 10:30. Lift arranged for 9:30, but I don't actually have a travel bag, so my clothes are gonna be packed in Coles' bags until we pick up the worker who's coming with me who said I can borrow a bag. I haven't packed anything yet.
Despite not having packed yet, I have been busy all day cleaning. I decided I'd clean up my room so that when I get back I've got a nice clean room to crash into, and I also decided to wash my bedding and wardrobe things. So lots of washing, and lots of cleaning. Also decided to clean my toilet and bathroom because hey! That's more important than making sure I actually have stuff to wear, right??? π€¦πΌββοΈπ€¦πΌββοΈπ€¦πΌββοΈ. My bedding still isn't dry, still got half an hour to go at least.
Oh it's also been brought to my attention that the gronky security people would probably put most of my things in the bin, because my deodorant, mouthwash, etc, are all "too big". So I'll need to buy some in Adelaide
I'm a nervous traveller, in case you can't tell.....
They don't care about liquid container size for domestic flights AFAIK. Hope you wake up refreshed and have a seamless flight!
Just looked at tonight's low temp - and for the next week. Time to put the doona back on the bed after summer I think.
There was a young guy asleep out on the entrance to my building. I went in to get some money for him and when I got back he was gone, his blankets and , weirdly, a bag with half a doz jars of expensive honey are left behind.
It's strange and sad.
wow sugar soap really works
Hits the sweet spot.
I've been securified. Now I'm just waiting for the people to turn the plane on and open the gate. They said boarding closes at 11:45, so I feel like they should consider opening the doors fairly soon. I don't even know where the bloody plane is!
Changing my sleep cycle for the new job. Damn you circadian rhythm and making me feel like shit π
This is the life
I'm in the bed under a shit ton of blankets with far too many pillows watching some gronk get arrested
Well that was a rapid transition to Autumn. Might have to swap to winter doona next time I do the sheets.
Dear lord today was inteeeense but really good progress and feeling so ecstatic that I can blast through a lot in two days and then... Pack it up and put it away until next week. Realistically this position probably needs 3 days a week but I'm so glad it won't ever be full time - so I have much more manageable expectations. No need to take any of it home, no need to feel fully invested in it. Go in, punch out what's needed, maybe make some process improvements, go home. And SUCH a drastic difference in team and management support compared to my old job! Now to follow up on some leads for casual work on the other three days...
I seriously need to figure out a budget for a car though, getting there and back by PT let alone bike is a nightmare, 500x easier by car.
Holy shit these rooms are fancy. Bloody hell I was expecting something like when I went to Sydney (old hotel with communal bathroom type situation) but nah I may as well be in crown at this point
Who decides it's the International Day of (thing)? Not disputing it, just suddenly curious. My zoo calendar regularly says stuff like it's the International Day of the (fauna) and I wonder who decides it.
I shal now proceed to waste at least 2 hours of useful work day on OHS courses that amount to: Use your knees, and Donβt drink the dish liquid.
If they are expecting you to cover that much material you really should be getting a full day.
Wasted hours turn into days but all is not lost,
Make your decisions and pay the cost:
The price of admission to a worthy life,
Is just to exist despite all the strife.
The world may be ending but yours is not,
You have more to give than what you got.
Keep your chin up and all will work out,
Stay focused and dismiss all your doubt.
Another day, another unpaid toll sms. These spam texts drive me nuts. Iβve blocked so many numbers but itβs futile.
Movie review.
Do you love fast cars? Do you love men? Do you love daring men geniuses who love fast cars?
If you do then Ford vs Ferrari is pure porn.
I give this 5 hobbits . I'll be watching it again.