Took a couple years for it to become habitual, a few more for it to become truly subconscious. At this point I dont hesitate at all in calling myself a woman, in responding to my name or pronouns, or in associating myself with other women. It takes time, but after a while it becomes a deep part of who you are. It's a very gradual process, and it feels weird when you first start. Saying something and truly believing it with all your heart are 2 different things, and self doubt and uncertainty can lurk around for a while. But thats normal, it's a part of self acceptance that most trans people go through.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Transfem
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Wow thank you for this reply. I find it relatable despite my lack of experience
My new name/pronouns felt really foreign to me for a long time honestly. I used they/them for a while until i felt "femme enough" for she/her (whatever that means) and these days i'm they/she.
It just took some time for that to go away. Other people gendering you properly can help reinforce that it's correct.
Your answer gives me mire confidence. Thanks
I was very afraid of telling people my chosen name until I came out to two female friends of mine and the always introduce me as Alice and they love me very much and their friends as well.
Feeling loved as Alice was for me the "click" for internalising that "I really am Alice"
I am still scared to introduce myself as Alice because I don't pass very well and I don't want people asking me questions, but at least I'm now 100% that I'm Alice, a girl, and that I want people to refer to me using the feminine forms of my language :)
I was the same way. Was really cautious about it, going from he/they to they/them, they/she before finally just telling folks she/her. I have a ton of respect for the folks that have the confidence to switch right off the bat but for me it was ~a year into hrt before I got truly comfy with it
I had my name first, and only really used my new pronouns with close friends at first to get a feel for it. The biggest thing for me was my partner at the time switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️. That solidified it more than pronouns.
switching from calling me handsome to beautiful ❤️
omg that sounds like it would melt my heart into a puddle from happyness 😍 🥰
I felt much more comfortable with them when I started going by a different name. Having my name and pronouns consistent, even if I don't pass in any way, works best for me. Adjusting to it was pretty quick for me after that
It was weird at first but you get over it. I personally didn't experiment all that much - I had already been on hormones for awhile and had a fuck ton of voice practice to where I was gendered correctly on the phone.
I was also an overly anxious wreck, though, so I don't quite recommend my approach lol. Just do what you feel comfortable with
it definitely takes quite a while. i started by just being stella (she/her) on discord and nowhere else, which already helped me kinda get used to it. my supportive family members eventually started to kinda "force" it onto me, not in a bad way, just like actively confronting me with the name and pronouns, both for them to get used to it and also for myself. that really helped me because otherwise i probably wouldve been too scared. nowadays i use my real name for everything i do and i have started to feel bad about my deadname. still, hearing my name and pronouns feels weird, but im slowly getting used to it and i love that :3