this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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Some here might remember my post from a couple of months ago when I first took Lexi home. She was handed in by her previous family due to their existing cat being very aggressive towards her. She had been sitting in the cage at the pound for 2 months when I adopted her.

It took a little bit to get used to me but now won't leave my side. As soon as I get on the computer, she jumps up and lays down at the side of the keyboard, which makes working difficult lol

I have a question for the community though, she seems very scared of all males other than me. She is fine with any women (she's especially loves my grandma and insists we go visit her next door daily). Is this normal for cats to be scared of men or is it likely something happened to her at the previous home?

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[–] mascarasnake 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

My vote is on past trauma involving men. I know a cat dad whose 3 feline kids adore him, and I've had my cats be friendly to anyone who respects their space, regardless of gender. I've never seen them have a common predisposition to fear men.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Yeah this is my thoughts too which makes me kinda sad and think the story of the other cat attacking her might not be the truth

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I wouldn't assume that. Some cats just develop fears for no obvious reason. Our 7 year old female cat flees at any sudden noise or movement. She runs and hides any time we have visitors. My sister in law has come to pet sit for her several times but she hisses at her if she tries to get too close. We adopted her as a kitten from a friend who had taken in a pregnant stray. She has never been mistreated or experienced any sort of trauma and was actually pretty normal as a kitten. These behaviors didn't start manifesting until she was about a year old. As far as we can tell she just has anxiety issues.

[–] Dremor 2 points 10 months ago

My cat is the same, minus the hissing part. He just goea hide every time he see a stranger. I adopted himbwhen he was already 7 y/o, no idea if he was mistreated, but at least he know he can come cuddle with me anytime he want. And he does a lot.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

My dad has a cat that had a rough life. For years, he was scared of everyone but my dad. He was actually scared of my dad for quite a while, but after a long time of adjustment, he got comfortable with my dad and would hang out with him, but still anyone else who came to the house literally wouldn't see him because he was hiding.

Everyone just kind of left him alone and let him do his thing, and after a long long time he decided other people were okay and now he's fine, just a little skittish if something happens. I think like a lot of things with cats, you can just let her be. Most cats aren't scared of men as a rule, but if she is, I would just let her attend to her safety the way she wants to.

If it's useful, my dad reported that he made friends with his cat by dragging a long piece of string around on the ground and letting the guy play with it which kitty enjoyed, and sort of slowly working the string closer and closer to him while being completely still and nonthreatening and just letting the play exist in the same physical location as my dad was, and after a lot of repetition Mr. Kitty decided nothing bad had happened and the big dude was probably fine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
[–] Lennnny 3 points 10 months ago

I've had my boy cat since he was six weeks old, and I know his foster momma (and bio momma!) and there's zero reason for this, but he's terrified of men too! So, while it could be trauma from an event, she might also just be a fearful derp.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I have an orange male who used to wander on the streets of the old neighborhood with the very same behavior. The theory behind his fear of human males was the voice tone of them compared with the female voices. My cat was particularly afraid of my father-in-law, who has this loud and manly voice.