And yet, even if you witness those events, you can't know how any of that will play out in your marriage because your relationship becomes a part of the scenario.
this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2024
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That's not particularly good advice. Seeing someone at the absolute worst point of their life isn't "truly knowing someone". When my lifelong best friend died, I was in shambles for months. That's not who I am as a person, it's who I was during extreme loss.
Imagine breaking up with someone because you "saw their true nature" when they lost their dad.
That's kind of the plot of Midsommar. The main character loses both her parents and her sister, but her boyfriend is really detached and uninterested in helping her move through her grief. In fact, it turns out he's been planning a trip to get away without her going along, then she finds out and he feels guilty so he brings her along anyway. And in this new life, she's about to find the community that can nuture and support her at HIS and his friend's expense.
I think all of Ari's recent works have been centered around loss, in some way or another. Maybe Beau being centered around loss is kind of stretching it, but that movie is so crazy it is in a category of its own.
I'm sorry for your loss.
it is a part of who you are though, how you handle loss.
Some people become destructive and never recover, and that is something you would ideally want to know about someone before a lifelong commitment.
When you make a lifelong commitment, you work through tragedy together. You don't go "I don't like the way you're handling this, so fuck you, I'm out". You lift each other up when you're down. You know, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, and all that jazz.
True, but also true that beforw you reach the lifelong commitment stage it is understandable to decide that you might not want to do it with someone who might not fit your expectations of mental stability from a partner.
It sucks but the truth is that if you dated someone for a few weeks, then they went through some tragedy and became unstable for months you might decide to breakup since that realtionship is more unstable then stable.
I do think once you reach the lifelong part, you should stick it out no matter what
I can agree with that. A relationship that enters tragedy too early probably isn't going to last.
Girl: Why won’t you marry me? Boy: Your family isn’t dead yet.
Wouldn't living with them for years first be sufficient in most cases?
No! Their therapist said you must wait until a major life crisis. Dafuq kind of advice is that? This person is a quack.
I mean, people usually get sick a couple of times per year, not exactly a rare occurrence.
What if they don't have a loved one? Deceive them into loving you and then fake your own death. If they grieve for you good enough, miraculously come back to life?
The other person will have the best indicator to NOT marry you in this case. And also a lot of problems...
You kill their father in front of them and they smile at you as your phone rings. "You should answer that... its probably your father with some news."
Put a loaded pistol on a small table in a room. Have the pair try to install laminate flooring in that room which isn't plumb, level, or square.
If they both live then they can go to Stage 2: IKEA furniture assembly. One of the instruction pages is missing.
Bro if you put a loaded pistol on the table anywhere near me then it won't be loaded for long.
Yes, carefully removing the bullets and installing a trigger lock is the right thing to do. Well done!
Riiiiiiight
Wallpaper installation is also a fun activity for couples.
My mans is playin
That's what I generally do anyways so this should work out well.
Of course he's being figurative in his speech. He's not literally saying you have to witness them going through each of those specific things, but suggesting you don't really know a person well until you've been through difficulties and hardships with them. And that's really true. As many young people find out the hard way when they marry young without that perspective.
I already tried all that!
Still didn’t work.