this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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Godel proved you can't prove anything. Don't think about it too hard.

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[–] samus12345 69 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But what if they cremate you? Better be safe and also swallow some mercury zinc batteries so your corpse will explode during cremation if they go that route.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just wanted to say thanks ... I'm having a bit of a bad day and that genuinely made me laugh out loud

[–] samus12345 9 points 1 year ago

Glad to hear it. Hope things get better!

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago

How do you know it's close to the end? Simple: just swallow plutonium dioxide and it sure will be.

[–] synapse1278 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about the "weird black mold" ? Is this something real ? Like some radiation resistant mold that has been observed ?

[–] cynar 81 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

It might not be related, but they've found mold inside the reactor room of Chernobyl. Apparently it's evolved a chlorophyll like molecule that captures gamma radiation. It's literally living of the energy that makes the environment lethal to almost anything else (organic or electronic).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiotrophic_fungus#:~:text=Radiotrophic%20fungi%20are%20fungi%20that,the%20Chernobyl%20Nuclear%20Power%20Plant.

Edit. Just checked and it's not confirmed how it's growing. They do know it grows significantly faster in a high radiation environment. They haven't pinned down the exact biological mechanism.

Oh, and yes, it's black in colour.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don’t think I had this one on my apocalypse bingo sheet

[–] misterundercoat 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I, for one, welcome our new gamma mold overlords.

[–] Bdtrngl 11 points 1 year ago

Couldn't be any worse than the overlords we have now.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Oh cool so we have protomolecule now?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Badass. Was reading that thinking what about space applications. Sure enough there is a whole section on that in the wiki.

Appreciate you sharing this. Was super interesting to read.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Wasn't there some bacteria found in an uranium mine, enclosed for millions of years, that lives off gamma radiation too?

edit: yep. Those things could survive without the sun.

[–] Anticorp 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So theoretically, there could be organisms living on the surface of the sun?

[–] cynar 6 points 1 year ago

Unlikely. Biochemistry, as we know it, relies on a carbon-carbon backbone. That breaks down long before the temperatures on the sun's main outer layers. The electrons get stripped off, and chemistry, as we know it, stops working.

[–] BluesF 4 points 1 year ago

Eating radiation is one thing, surviving those temperatures is another. I don't even think tardigrades can survive that hot.

[–] aeronmelon 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wouldn't swallowing plutonium dioxide be the reason you end?

[–] SasquatchBanana 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They're saying if you are lying in a hospital bed with a terminal diagnosis at the end of your days you should swallow the balloon.

[–] LesserAbe 14 points 1 year ago

You're right. Also from what little I understand about radiation seems like you might want to take some more definitive action too rather than give the polonium time to finish the job. It would probably be more unpleasant than however else you were going to die

[–] Anticorp 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Where do I procure said balloon if I'm lying in a hospital bed at the end of my days?

[–] meliaesc 1 points 1 year ago

Keep one in your pocket at all times.

[–] Setarkus 15 points 1 year ago

Either way, it'll be shortly before the end. You can't lose this one :D

[–] Anticorp 17 points 1 year ago

Or pay the graveyard to spray Roundup around your grave. That's probably the easier of the two.

[–] niktemadur 5 points 1 year ago

An ideal last prank for all you Andy Kaufman-types out there.

[–] Usernameblankface 3 points 1 year ago

Companies that make sealed concrete vaults would like a word with you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My plan was always to eat a bunch of gunpowder and ask to be cremated.