I usually listen but it kinda just... goes out the other ear
this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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My problem is that I get lost in what comes next in the conversation. Like I have to prepare my responses because they don't always come naturally. So asking a name is like a freebie but pretty shortly I'm completely out of bandwidth for remembering the name because it's all going into paying attention to what they're saying and coming up with whatever I say next. Not necessarily consciously either. I've also noticed I tend to remember names better in group conversations where there's definitely less pressure to listen and respond 1:1.
Well said. That's exactly how it feels for me.
ow, fuck.
With my ADHD, the first 3-5 minutes in a conversation with a new person, I have some sort of attention. In these 3 -5 minutes, I used their names in the conversion a bunch of times.
"That's interesting, Frank. What does Heather think?
I find this helps me remember their names better.