Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] FilthyShrooms 57 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Fun trick! Don't try in America!

[–] gmtom 32 points 7 months ago (4 children)

If anything it would be easier in America.

Just shoot them the second they touch it. Even if they're running away with it and you shoot them in the back you will gey away with it.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This protip only works for Cops

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah or the rich

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

Nah, rich people don't really do that. They'll just ruin your life and let you take care of the rest.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

But then you have to move all the time. A pile of bodies might scare off bike thieves.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Would being near a school help?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Not as much as being near a pig farm would

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Disclaimer: This post advises you to commit crimes. Do not take this post as fact.

Disclaimer pt.2: You may get away with it "in Texas, at night, and on your own property," but you have to hit all 3/3 of those, if you have 0/3, 1/3, or 2/3, you are also going to be prosecuted.

[–] graymess 8 points 7 months ago

Alternatively, run over with car. You can commit any crime while in a car and get away with it. It's the law.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Do Americans even know how to ride a bicycle?

[–] riodoro1 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but they don’t know how to change gears.

[–] Entropywins 2 points 7 months ago

Gears!!! This thing has gears?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Inexperienced, but possible. If only bikes worked the same way as America's best anti-theft measure: a car with manual transmission.

[–] AngryCommieKender 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Can confirm. Left my 1986 SAAB 900 SPG unlocked for a decade in a couple major cities downtown areas. The only thing anyone ever took was some of my quarters. They also never broke the window to get in, and then realize it was a manual. Didn't even take the radio, as I did take the faceplate inside with me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

They just don't know how to start it.