this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 34 points 7 months ago (2 children)

vague signals

If a woman gives me vague signals it's a sign that she's not right for me. Everything other than a "hell yes" is a no. Which is fine, I'm okay with being alone. But I'm not going to chase someone who hints that they're into me, because I'm too damn old for that shit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Everything other than a “hell yes” is a no.

This must be said more frequently. This is the correct attitude. You may be alone longer, but you haven't terrorized anybody. It's a net win.

[–] daellat 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I feel like signals of interest are being conflated with Consent/approval of a date here

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No, it's not. If I'm talking to someone and they look disinterested, that's not a "hell yes." If they're standing there while their four-top is waiting on refills, that's not a "hell yes."

A "hell yes" is them asking me questions, or sharing a relatable story. It's them smiling and looking at me when I talk. A "hell yes" is me asking "would you like to talk alone" and her saying "hell yes."

Get used to being alone. Learn to love its freedom and spontaneity, and then find someone who's better than that who says "hell yes."

[–] daellat 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Well I'm just saying I've had not hell yes signals turned into a hell yes date very quickly when I asked them out. Of course I always ask them very open ended so they have all the chance to say no but I got a "yes of course!"

Sometimes people are just a bit shy or afraid, I know I probably give of pretty meh signals even if I'm crushing hard.

I agree it's very important not to fool yourself but sometimes you gotta ask to know for sure and I don't think it's that black and white all the time

E: love a good Convo down vote no reply.. weak sauce.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I don’t think it’s me terrorizing people when they give me clear answers.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Are you pulling a #NotAllMen? Really?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Nope. I think that nobody is terrorizing anyone by receiving clear answers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

But giving the can be a risk for some people.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Taking a risk is not the same as being terrorized

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Damn you're thick.

You really don't get the idea of the Schroedinger Rapist, do you?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I understand risk and security, sure. I carry a weapon everywhere I go because I understand it intimately.

I just object to the idea a person is “being terrorized” by that situation. As if all the people interacting with them are terrorists, because they are too confused about their relationship to their own fear and safety to carry a weapon.

I got terrorized by one person once, and now I keep that weapon on me at every moment I’m not behind my own locked doors. I do not believe that I am being terrorized, simply because I live in a dangerous environment.

Words have meaning, and the meaning matters. A person who is anxious is not, thereby, being “terrorized”.

“Schrodinger’s rapist” indeed, as if the concept of a dangerous environment didn’t exist before the year 2010 when that term got coined by people who think they’re the first to encounter the world.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

coined by people who think they’re the first to encounter the world

Yet another US asshole who feels like John Wayne with his fucking gun and lacks the minimal empathy to be considered a decent human being.

Get bent.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Yet another leftist whose response to disagreement is to dehumanize the other.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Also, don’t take the disrespect personally. Especially if it’s someone new in your life, they don’t know you deeply enough for that to be a personal thing.

It’s just the game she’s decided is necessary for her safety. It might be perceivable as disrespectful, but security procedures often are. Like if you went to your friend’s house and they demanded to search you for weapons that might seem disrespectful.

But you’re not friends with this person ghosting you. They don’t know who you are. And in some environments, when someone unknown to you comes to your house you pat them down for weapons, even if it diminishes the hospitality.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 1 points 7 months ago

Exactly, I don't blame them at all for anything. They don't know me, I barely know them. If they don't want to talk to me I have all you randos who reply to my comments. But I'm not gonna chase somebody who wants to get away. My biggest turn-on is someone who really, really wants me.