Did you perhaps forget to say bonjour/excusez moi or other necessary greetings? That'll make people look angrily at you regardless of how good your french is

[–] SendMePhotos 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Wait those are necessary for social courtesy? Like you have to say, "hello" first?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

In case you're not joking, yes, the French are extremely formal, and starting any interaction without a "hi" will get you weird looks. Main reason Americans think the French are assholes, I guess

[–] SendMePhotos 5 points 8 months ago

Yeah... American here.. In my area, a greeting isn't necessary. It can be appreciated but isn't required. Even ending conversation without a closing is not uncommon. Spouse gets mad because people just hang up the phone when done instead of a proper goodbye.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Hahaha, the French sternness/politeness reminds me of over here in Czechia

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Absolutely, I think a lot of Americans don't realise that when going to France, and end up having a subpart experience because of it. From our perspective, you are the asshole if you don't greet people appropriately, which often means we'll answer in kind.

The basics, bonjour, excusez moi, s'il vous plaît, merci should get you through that. Not assuming people want or can speak English can also be important, so if you can ask them "parlez vous anglais ?" before switching it's not a bad call

There's also obviously some people who are assholes or simply having a bad day, that's a universal thing and France is no exception.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

I think I did say hello. I know I said s'il vous plaît and merci. However, I am Dutch and we are known for being a bit rude sometimes. So, maybe I did not behave completely correct according to French customs. I am not sure.

Edit: Or maybe they thought I was German. I did not think that happens anymore, but when I was a child and I would go on a holiday people were sometimes rude if they thought we were German because of WW2.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Unless you interacted with 90 year olds, it's unlikely anyone would be mad about thinking you're German these days.

It's entirely possible you encountered assholes, they do exist, though they're generally equally assholes to everyone regardless of country of origin so don't take it personally.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Dutch are not rude, but very direct. Even more so than the Germans. Try dialing the niceties and charms up to 11

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

How do the Dutch compare to the British? British culture is quite extroverted and smalltalk-y, is Dutch culture more introverted?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I think the Dutch are very open. They like to make a lot of jokes, I think, just like the British. They can be more direct and to the point than the British and they do spend less time on saying things out of politeness. They just want everything to be clear.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think I observed this with Dutch people... It's definitely something I can appreciate, and which I strive to do myself (keeping things as clear as possible).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Yes, the opposite side of the same coin is that I sometimes get confused if people are less clear.

I had a Turkish room mate at work and I asked him whether it was okay to open the window. Het said yes (at least I thought so), so I opened the window. The he started talking about people he knew that got pneumonia and he put on his coat. So, I closed the window again. That is something that might typically happen if you are not used to the difference between really yes, or yes, but actually no out of politeness.

It does not bother me too much, but it is quite typical. I just hope I am not creating issues with my lack of understanding.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Ahh, thanks for characterising this

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

No, they're quite open, like the British

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I think the directness sometimes is considered rude, however some people appreciate it. I think it depends on the person as well. When I was in Denmark, I found that the Danes were very nice, but even more direct than I was used to. I came there for work presenting my ideas, and they were quite critical (but in a good way). They also had lots of jokes about the Swedes.