this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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Things necessary for it to be a good "Sims" movie:
1 Someone dies within the first 5 minutes from a wholly preventable fire.
1a) the other characters stand around for a few minutes staring blankly at the fire, then start panicking.
1b) no one calls the fire department because they're too busy panicking, and no one bought a fire alarm, so the house burns down.
2 Someone orders a pool to be built and forgets to buy a ladder, resulting in a character drowning because they refuse to leave without using a ladder.
3 At the beginning, none of the characters have any skill in anything whatsoever, resulting in them fucking up anything they attempt to do in a spectacular way, like setting the house on fire when trying to cook a meal.
4 The main characters live together in a home with one less bed than there are people living in the house, resulting in one person sleeping on the couch. However, no one ever calls attention to this.
4a) the "couch" roommate is the only one who is employed, the others simply live off their employed roommate's paycheck. This is also never addressed or acknowledged.
5 Someone inexplicably finds themselves trapped in a small room without any doors or windows.
6 Parent characters just kinda leave their babies wherever. This is demonstrated in a scene where a mother stops in the middle of the road, stares blankly into the distance for a moment, and then places their baby in the road before walking over to a Starbucks to get coffee.
7 At some point, twins are born. They immediately become orphans as both parents begin laughing hysterically and die (supposedly having twins can cause playful Sims to die from hysteria in The Sims 4).
Edit: basically, the only way for it to be a good "Sims" movie is if it's a non-stop train wreck from start to finish.
6 is a little too dark of an example. But I like the thought process. I 100% assume there will be a meta element like The Lego Movie and Barbie where they will acknowledge a bunch of the stuff.
Also, I'm assuming that the ladder will be there and disappear. The Sims will then try to murder their creator.
Then again, that's been done before.
Eh, Sims can't get run over (cars either stop for them, or pass through them harmlessly, depending on the game), so there's no real risk to the baby.