this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2023
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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I'd get the fourth sword, then I'd take a regular dagger, and cut open a pregnant cow or cat or dog or something. I'd then slay all the kittens or calves or puppies with my new sword. Since the animals are not born yet, they would have an age of less than 0. When we add their negative age to mine, I'd become weeks or even months younger per kill! With this I will have everlasting youth!

[–] Ipodjockey 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well this is the most reddit like thing I've seen on Lemmy so far....

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Uh oh... Is that a bad thing?

[–] Ipodjockey 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You may want to see a therapist.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Nah, I'm completely fine. I was only trying to find a way to get the most benefit from the four choices given in the post. We don't live in a world with magic, so I don't see myself ever doing anything like that.

Thanks for your concern though.

[–] Brunbrun6766 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Am I really so strange? There are tales as old as time itself where powerful people seek everlasting life, and they are willing to commit far worse atrocities to reach their goals. For me the price is merely the lives of a few barnyard animals, common livestock that would have died for the goals of man anyway! This is no different than you eating a meal.

Is the amount of food that would barely feed a small army really such a high price to pay for a longer healthier life? I think not!

[–] Piemanding 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or just hire someone to stab you with the sword a couple times. There's bound to be some poor people who'd do it for a bit of gold.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Impressive, you had a more evil response than mine!

I feel like the chances of you getting a drunk or some sort of criminal who decides to kill you all the way with the sword and take all of your gold while not knowing what the sword does would eventually end up killing you, though. It's even possible that there's nothing nefarious behind it too, they just happen to stab you in the right way where you end up bleeding out or something.

Or maybe, some poor men's wives would appear and hunt you down. Angry that you somehow stole something from them when they already had nothing. After stealing their husbands' youths, they're now out for blood! I dunno, haha.

[–] PoetSII 8 points 1 year ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Fuckin, holy shit man....

[–] SgtAStrawberry 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do elephants or whales instead or even alpacas, you get much more time from them.

[–] Royal_Bitch_Pudding 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Turtles, crabs, or certain species of Jellyfish

[–] SgtAStrawberry 1 points 1 year ago

True true, I only thought of mammals.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Horrors within my compherension

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My dude over here make omelets with a sword. Also, why does he always look so amazing. Its like he doesn't age or something!