The thing I don’t get about you Birds Are Real freaks is that if birds were indeed still real and they were in fact plotting against us, why wouldn’t you just join them and help them plot? Certainly you would be in the most powerful position in the human race if you became the loyal human minions the new global overlords could trust.

The internal logic of you peoples weird little, let’s face it CONSPIRACY, doesn’t even make sense or at least it means y’all would fight on the human side in a Global Human-Bird War instead of the birds. I mean come on, if we actually did live in the absurd reality you believe is true where birds are still real then how could you possibly live with that choice?

All the cool people would immediately realize Bird Kingdom would be way fuckin better than this B-movie budget slow motion apocalypse where only a handful of billionaires have died yet in submarines.