this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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There's not really a set number of phases for leaving or entering a religion. As an aside, there isn't actually a fixed set of stages for grief either. People's journeys through life vary. I also see people repeating the most conservative interpretations of Islam here. People interpret and experience religion differently. Don't cite the most conservative interpretation as the one true interpretation, you're only giving them more credit than they deserve.
There is a study which says you are most likely to become agnostic/atheist if you grew up with parents who are not very religious. It was posted on Reddit and I did not read the study, but my guess it's because you're not being exposed to religious teachings. The findings corroborate my personal experience. My family and I pretty much stopped going to church nearly twenty years ago. My parents are believers but not devoted, although my mother watches televised mass.
My siblings and I then just do things on our own, and from our own readings on the topic along with others, we all became non-believers independent from each other. I am agnostic (I don't believe that deities in mainstream human religion exist but I do not discount the possibility of magical beings existing if evidence is presented) but my siblings are fully atheists.
Growing up I only ever saw church and religion on TV and never really thought much of it. One day as kids my mom pulled my brother and I aside and asked us, "It doesn't really make any sense for there to be a bearded man in the sky, does it?" That's all I really needed to hear to be science-minded for the rest of my life.
I'm a little jealous of people who grew up with church communities though. There's lots of good people out there, even if it's for the wrong reasons.
Don't be jealous of us. Not when I sometimes wake up at night from a dream when I am in hell or can just sit there for hours replaying the repeated physical abuse and it takes everything I have to not track those people down and "have a conversation with them".
The recovery from religion foundation has been a big help.