this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by newbeni to c/nostupidquestions
 

I WFH, every year one of the goals that the rest of the team decides is that it's "so great" to see each other in person. The past few years haven't worked out but one did. I spent hours in a couple of airports, the huge expense for the company, I spent days away from my family, and for what? So you could look me in my same face you would see if we turned cameras on every once in a while? My husband says I'm being weird, but I legitimately want to know, what is the benefit? I hate being there and have to play nice so you can.....look me even closer in the face?

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[–] shalafi 12 points 6 months ago (22 children)

look me in my same face you would see if we turned cameras on every once in a while?

Not the same as interpersonal interaction, misses much of the communication we evolved to express and understand.

OTOH, I've had a few Zoom-only relationships where we're pretty tight, but that's rare.

LOL, one of those is my Zoom rep. We email occasionally, trade pics and jokes. Every few months we Zoom and shoot the bullshit about our lives. She gets me the skinny on upcoming stuff, where my account's at, what I might need or not need. Because we're tight like that, she jumps when I need a thing, and in turn, I read all her correspondence carefully.

Another is a coworker, nearly my best friend at the company. When we finally met in person at a team meeting, we were tight. Boss was like, "Had you guys met before today?!"

Again, pretty rare relationships. Know who I'm really close to? The guy who lives here who I used to work in the office with. Man came to my wedding. None of those remote people did. When he needs my help, I jump.

And if anyone wants to poo-poo interpersonal work relationships, I will ask that person what they think of long-distance relationships. The conventional wisdom is that they don't work out. (Yes, I know those are different. But how different and why? Think on that.)

Great post and question! Much food for thought as we navigate this new world.

Anyway, I had some thoughts earlier tonight, both pro and con.

https://old.lemmy.world/comment/8056815

[–] Stromatose 8 points 6 months ago (20 children)

I'm sure you have friends outside of work right?

That's the part I never understand about people who connect working in office and with the fun of seeing others is person.

Why are you so willing to put up with commuting, office quality furniture, public restroom facilities, sick people who realllllly should have leverage optional work from home days or just regular old sick time... When you could just have more time for friends outside of the workplace.

I see my friends on weekends or they come over and we have game nights spending quality time with each other rather than infrequent unplanned interactions when we both should be doing something else.

My personal life friends are the people I "jump" for. Not coworkers. Having to "jump" for a coworker is and should be an inconvenience in the workplace because it means a failure of planning occurred somewhere. You can still have friendly camaraderie in the face of inconvenient circumstances but I don't think you need to have some deep relationship to help out a colleague. That comes with the job to some extent.

When I've become friends with people from work, I invite them into my entirely separate personal life and in fact that is the case for one of my closest friends.

I just feel like If you wanna hang out with people from the office invite them to something outside of the office. The whole captive audience thing is such a demoralizing foundation to start a friendship with.

[–] TheBat 4 points 6 months ago (14 children)

Honestly, our office has quality furniture and nice restrooms which are frequently cleaned and restocked throughout the day.

[–] Stromatose 0 points 6 months ago

I don't mean to say that the place can't be nice but I would hope your home is of greater comfort than your workplace in most cases.

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