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Is texting not a conversation, or is it just me? (self.adhd)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by RememberTheApollo_ to c/adhd

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When texting people in general I find it frustrating that people don’t seem to view it as a conversation. If someone texts me and I catch it and text back right away, I get frustrated when people don’t return the favor. They might text back 5, 10, minutes or an hour or more later. Why did you text me if you didn’t want to have a conversation? Why am I the one sitting here waiting for a response?

It’s like someone sitting down across from at a table and asking you “Hey, how ya doin?” You respond “Great! what’s up?” and they just sit there for 10 minutes not saying anything.

Might be the whisper of ASD in my ADHD contributing to not understanding how this social interaction actually works vs how I think it should work.

Anyone else have this grinding their gears?

E: apparently it’s just me!

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

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[–] Markimus 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm delighted when people text back and we have a conversation, though I don't find it frustrating when that doesn't happen.

This is mainly because I keep track of important conversations in some external system, messages I'm waiting for, etc.

You never want to be sitting there waiting for a response, the only reason that's annoying for you is because you have that tug on your mind and you're not able to do other things until that tug has resolved itself. Keeping track of it externally means that you're not having to keep track of it internally. That's what you're really frustrated at, that pull at your attention that means you're not able to focus on other things.