this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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[–] fidodo 30 points 9 months ago (3 children)

How do people know that you're on the verge of burnout? They're not mind readers. They probably see you over achieving and just think wow, that person's really got their shit together without realizing that you're pushing yourself too hard.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 7 points 9 months ago

Right? People can post any monologue they want on social media. That was her monologue, imagining that anybody around her cared or even thought about what was going on deep inside the recesses of her convoluted psychoneuropathy.

[–] trolololol 6 points 9 months ago

And then there's people like me who can burn out without over achieving. Which makes op a role model.

[–] jadedwench -1 points 9 months ago

Well, people need to stop and actually think for 5 minutes. Is it really ok to have a person work 12-16 hours every day and that actually be healthy? How would I or so and so be if we worked the same amount of hours or put in the same amount of work? Does this person ever take vacations? Days off? Do they look like they are getting enough sleep or have made comments that they don't?

These were all common themes in every person I have worked with who got burnt out, but never complained or said much. It took me over a decade to learn how to say no. That I had had enough. That I deserved time off. A lunch break. That sleep was more important than being called multiple times a night, every night.

One of the few good things my last boss did, despite all of faults, was force one of his employees to stop traveling for work for a while. The guy was literally flying his kids (both under 4) to his parents place, flying to job sites, and then having everybody shipped back home at the end of each trip.

Of course, I was one of the ones who had to pick up the slack, be guilt tripped by the other guys' situation as a single dad, and burn out instead. Especially when they knew I was raised by a single dad too. No beef with the other guy though. We both quit and ended up at the same place. My boss did the right thing, but the wrong thing for the rest of us.

The point is, we as people, and especially people in supervisory roles or in heavy partnerships, need to be a little less self absorbed and stop to think about the person's life logically. When dealing with power inequality, you absolutely have to understand that there is a pressure to perform and not say anything. If you happen to be a workaholic, you can't force the same on everyone else either.

I absolutely hate it when people go on about how they worked all night and that they should be rewarded for it or that everything else should too. I threw the HR lady for a loop when she went on how she had to work all weekend, last night, the upcoming weekend, etc. I questioned why. Why didn't you just say no, I need more time? That I need help? That I have my own life and that my weekends are mine? I broke her damn brain. She couldn't really come up with a good reason and was completely confused.

While some people hide it really well, I have still found that in most cases, there are plenty of signs that somebody is headed for burnout. You just have to look for them.