this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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DnD Homebrew
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A community to share and workshop your DnD homebrew. Feats, classes, subclasses, races, items, pretty much everything is welcome.
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- If possible, provide a screenshot with your post
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This is such a good piece of homebrew, oh my God.
I'm only 1/4th way in and I'm loving it so far. I especially like the DM's tips, insight about balance philosophy and reasoning behind certain choices, and the extensive changelog at the bottom of the document. Really helps me better understand how to look at the class and evaluate it.
The only point of detriment is that the format you chose, that of a Google docs that is, is really hostile for such long brews. I would recommend switching to homebrewery or GM Binder. You could turn those 100 pages into a 30-ish page document very easily, and it would be much more digestible for people to read.
(Btw, I remembered your username from that discussion about dragons, and I agreed with you back then. Despite their prominence in fantasy imagery, they are really underutilized as character companions or as a playable race. I'm glad to see your passion for the topic translated into this!)
Ah! This is really helpful criticism/feedback, thank you so much. I haven't used those sites before, but I would be happy to give them a shot because I know that this is a very large homebrew that can take a lot of effort to process.
And I'm so glad to hear that you like my creation! Stuff like that really makes the effort worth it
And... DONE
https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/liOJvZSBDaur
Thanks a lot for undertaking the effort of translating the entire class into homebrewery! It's a lot of work, but it really helps making the class more readable. I also love how you used notes/descriptive text to distinguish between the "actual" text from your opinions/guidance.
I think it needs a bit more clean-up, but it's a solid base to start from. A few nitpicks:
The following are suggestions and personal opinions: they should be treated as such and can be discarded if you don't agree with them, no offence taken.
For example, THIS is what I came up with, although you could certainly improve on the design or alter it to your liking. I added the archetype and the colour to the heading, alongside the character's name, because it allows the reader to immediately discern the most important aspect of the character. I'm not sure if you're done with the chapter or if you plan on working on it still, but in case, I'd suggest adding additional info such as AC, HP and Speed to make it possible for the player to pick the character and immediately run with it.