this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2023
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I feel like retreating and I guess I have been hiding away from all my friends and family though last night I reached out to my dad because I felt like I had to finally.
This place is my last bastion of contact with people because I’m finding it real hard of late and want to hide away and disappear quite honestly.
Sending you good vibes and the energy to keep going.💜
Thank you so much for your well wishes.
Trying my best but I never feel it’s enough.
Just I wished I had listened more to my partner.
She told me to stop paying for her medical stuff incase I had an emergency or something happened and now I’m in that spot where my basic needs are suffering. (Washing machine)
But what sort of a partner would I be if I didn’t try my best to help her?
Yeah. I think about what I had done and keep replaying it and cursing myself for choosing or making a decision.
If I didn’t try and wash my oodie I wouldn’t have broken my washing machine.
To think about what’s ahead as well, I know it might not seem like a big problem but it’s one of the few comforts I didn’t want to go without.
I guess maybe what I might do is I wash and taking my stuff to a dryer and pay for the use of a dryer.
Yeah reaching out can be hard when struggling.
Good that you could find it in you to reach out. It takes strength. Many won't reach out at all and just suffer in silence for an eternity.
My friend tries so hard to be the strong and reliable father, husband, and son, and just soldiers on.
He forgets to reach out for someone to help him cause he's too busy helping everyone else.
My washing machine broke halfway yesterday which is why I reach out to my dad, I was anxious and needed to talk because I’m financially at rock bottom having had to support my partner with her medical bills for the past 3 and a half years.
Mind you I haven’t come up with a solution other than to see how I can handle drip drying wet clothes first or finding cheap or free replacement.
I’ll have to see what happens when i do the next wash and see what happens.
Ever with reaching out it doesn’t help with the problems other than airing them out.
Airing things out with loved ones them fixes more than you realise at the time.
It's just not tangible
I hope so.
With my dad he sometimes tries to overcompensate because he wasn’t around when I was growing up and feels like it was a missed chance so his input can come to be a little heavy sometimes.