this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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I agree with this. On the left we do a bad job with men, because so much discourse is critical of men. We push them away.
You can’t expect people to hear “men are the problem” and not take it personally. Imagine saying something similar about any marginalized group.
We live in a time where telling someone they have privilege is practically an insult, because a) many people use their lack of privilege as a point of pride and identity, and b) the masculine narrative of “self made” is inherently at odds with the idea of privilege.
So modern leftist (and intersectional feminist) discourse is at odds with masculinity in an irreconcilable way.
We can’t just leave men behind. What we need to do is start talking about privilege and about men in a more fair way, explicitly acknowledging that just being a white cis man doesn’t mean you have it easy in life, economic considerations absolutely exist and class consciousness is important. We need to stop others within the left when they say “men bad”, or more importantly, when they say something that will be perceived as “men bad”.
This isn’t an issue of a couple people whose feelings are hurt, a huge huge proportion of the world is being pushed into darkness and we need to fucking do something about it.
Well-written response.
I agree and had a tangentially-related conversation the other day. I believe in feminism generally, yet as a man, I see the name as a disservice to its cause in the same way that white privilege instantly makes many white people defensive. It was revolutionary in the time it was created, but revolutionaries aren't always great marketers (ie: 'Defund The Police' starting out as a means to redistribute governmental resources but becoming a rallying cry for Republicans) There is a modern day irony that as we try to make society more gender neutral and non-judgmental, the definition of equality is purposefully labeled after women which (un)consciously reframes masculinity in a negative light. In my limited understanding, I feel like early feminism tackled the 'othering' of women but never had a plan for if/when the pendulum swung and society started to (un)consciously favor them more in certain areas.
At the same time, it's hard to have a nuanced conversation about semantics when there's a non-trivial amount of the slighted group who wish harm/death on you solely because of your gender/race/religion. As a man, I can say that a lot of the Men's Liberation/MGTOW people I've experienced tend to be toxic, misogynistic and insecure AF. Their foremost definition of themselves could be classified as 'in opposition to women"(There are radical feminist who view the world similarly FYI). It happens in religion too, and even the lack of religion as well.. I've seen atheist forums that really just repost memes & news articles ridiculing religious fanatics instead of self-actualizing. The same thing happens re: politics generally too.
TL;DR: From a nuanced perspective, there are ways to make equality more marketable so that it doesn't demoralize those who are expected to relinquish power/privilege (or to just generally become an ally). At the same time, it's hard to negotiate w/ terrorist/bad-faith actors.
I agree with a lot of what you say.
My view is that to abolish it, we need to better and more fully understand the patriarchy and its effects on everyone.
First and foremost we must come to see how the unprivileged are damaged. But we can't stop there.
The question about men isn't about whether men are or aren't the problem (because it isn't that simple). Rather, it is in what ways men are affected positively and negatively by the patriarchy and how they do or don't enforce and perpetuate the patriarchy and affect women and other groups, unwittingly or otherwise.
Since we are all steeped in this culture, that same analysis has to be done for everyone or we will never make meaningful progress.
As we continue to understand and work on issues women face, we can and must at the same time look at the whole picture.