this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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I'm not judging you right now, just curious. Does it also feel that (gay) men immediately sexualize other men? Do you do that? Did you feel it was done to you?
Was talking to my partner now (he's a man, I'm not). Wondered if hearing straight men objectifying women when you're yourself not into women sounds a lot more jarring and unreasonable, precisely because you're in a way "sober" about women.
I'm not saying men don't have a huge damaging influence growing up, that a lot can only break with a lot of effort, but with your brother's friends it sounds also like a bunch of horny teenagers posturing to each other. Not ideal behavior and not always harmless, but far from making men emotionless hole-seeking creatures.
From my own experience, I've seen how gay men do objectify and immediately sexualize other men all the time. Yes it's a common thread. I'm guilty of it too. Honestly I think has less to do with sexual orientation and more to do with just being a male.
And BTW, I didn't mean to give the impression that I'm not into women, my first sexual experiences were hetero ones and I really enjoyed them. I still think about women as sexual partners. As I've gotten older I've become more appreciative of them as much deeper more sensitive partners than men usually are.
But that's not to say men are evil or terrible. I love everything about men, ok admittedly some of it attraction to their callousness or mischeviousness also. I think most guys have the experience of sexual knowledge shared as horny teenagers. I'm not condemning that just commenting about it. Frankly I enjoyed the sheer sexual energy of those experiences.
But I will concede that not all men are emotionless hole-seeking creatures. The truth is, men can be very sensitive and caring, but that's pretty rare from what I've seen. So if you have such a partner, congrats and don't take it for granted. It's a wonderful thing.