this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
128 points (95.1% liked)
Parenting
1789 readers
3 users here now
A place to talk about parenting.
Be respectful of others' parenting decisions.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think there is probably another reason for this. Yes I will say this is a good thing but I think a major reason for this is working mother's.
During boomer's childhood mothers stayed home and raised children.
During Gen x and melenial childhoods alot of mothers had part time jobs or jobs at the same time as schools(a lot with the schools directly like lunch ladies and bus drivers).
Now most woman have full time jobs. They can't be full time child care and full time worker alone. As a result they are full time worker part time child care, and the father is full time worker part time child care.
This is not saying woman should not be working or that father's don't have a responsibility for helping raise a child. Just saying this is likely partly responsible for this shift.
I'm not so sure on some that. There is a reason Gen x was also called the latchkey generation. We pretty much had no parental support. Either because both parents worked or were single parent households.
Prior to the 70s, dual income families or single parents were the exception, not the norm. As this changed rapidly through the 70s and 80s, child care and support systems did not evolve to keep pace. As these have become the norm, society as a whole has had a chance to catch up, which could be why you see more dads stepping up. Or most likely a combination of this and what you said.
At least in my case, I am aware of how absent my father was and how it affected me, and I chose to not be that way with my kids. I'd like to think others feel the same way.
I'm in the same boat as you, my father was disconnected, absent, aloof, mean, or drunk. The generations raised by boomers seem adamant to not repeat the abuse and neglect we received. I'm sure some is the lead as others have mentioned, but I think it goes back further and has more causes.
When my partner and I discussed the parallels in our dysfunctional families, we realized that our parents had similar histories of emotional and almost certainly physical abuse at the hands of their parents. The Greatest generation really did a number on them.
In addition to that, boomers felt the pressure to start families, but are the first generation to do so after suburbanization took hold. Add to this their own great numbers in comparison to their parents generation, and you have an enormous number of households going it alone for the first time. I think generations before the boomers had a lot more community resources to fall back on, since people were less spread out.
Another likely factor is all the propaganda they were fed. Baby boomers grew up in the start of the cold war and had their opinions and values shaped by the flood of propaganda that came with that. I don't know if we'll ever understand the damage that did, just having the backround noise of your life be the growth of the modern propaganda machine. Is it any wonder boomers find comfort in the conservative alternate reality? Its the only world they've ever known.
I can see that. My father started getting sick when I was about 10 and died just after I turned 13 so I don't have resentment since it wasn't his choice but was also kinda latchkey child.
I'm sorry you had to go through that so young. I was in my thirties and hadn't seen my dad in decades when he died and it still affected me. I couldn't imagine going through it at that age.
Yeah, esophageal cancer that then spread to his liver. Cancer sucks
Ehh, my mom worked full-time my wife does not. I am way more involved with my kids than my Dad ever was with me. It's probably the lead.
Lead probably played a part. Plus your father may of been replicating the people around him. Or your father and you may have different job expectations. Or(and this is probably true) you saw how you felt when your father wasn't involved and made it a priority for you to be involved in your child life.
There are a thousand reasons that may be. That's why single experiences are not evidence.
I'm not a scientist, I don't know what I'm talking about. I could be wrong, it's just a hypothesis based on my own observations. I'm just thinking there are probably societal factors at play also.