this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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Well, that post is a straight flush of red flags.
Thinking that someone else having emotions is work is definitely a major one.
Also I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, if I'm emotional I'm bad, if I'm cold and distant I'm bad, what she want?
She wants you to be emotionally available for her, but not to be emotionally available for you. Avoid these people, men or women, for anything you're not absolutely forced to.
I think she's talking about people who need to be constantly emotionally validated, which can absolutely be emotionally draining, especially if you're working through shit yourself.
Like, if your partner has BDD and you have to have a ~~conversation~~ argument with them multiple times a day defending them from their own self loathing, that's exhausting after a few years.
I read this to refer to the way overly emotional guys that cannot handle failure or rejection.
Online is a perfect haven for predators so I cant fault her for acknowledging there are some if not many awful people out there(which are in all walks of life and not just preying on young women). If there weren’t there would be no need for moderators. So okay…Good for her for setting some standards but like she could just acknowledge it with her friends over coffee or have a p2p chat about it and maybe put together a game plan and do more deep dive on how to get more aware of when she’s getting used and tuck that away into her back pocket and rely on it when she needs and not set out to ‘teach all men a lesson about young women to be nicer only to them’.
Cuz if you start announcing things like she did and just going ‘no users!’ On a public profile this is just lazy filtering and airing personal baggage. At the very least you still have to give people a chance not to tick those boxes or get some counselling if you start predicting the worst of an entire group and start getting exclusionary and generalizing who’s victimized and who’s predatory based on age and gender like this.