this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
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ADHD
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I don't know, I feel like it sounds a lot like burn out (or at least how I understand the term, which might be wrong!) I would manage alright at a job for a year or so, and then the combination of repetitiveness and lack of interest (for more low level jobs) or the accumulated stress and exhaustion from trying & failing to keep on top of everything (for more professional jobs) would bring me to a point of anxiety, depression and 'mental shutdown'.
Mostly I'd walk out on jobs when it started happening, but I'm my longest job (5 years) I just kept getting signed off work for increasingly long periods, and then I'd come back and be okay for another 12 months and fall apart again.
But I don't think it's cyclical depression or something. I had a two year period where I was fortunate enough to not have to work and I was in good form for the whole two years. Now I've moved in to academia, and the university schedule with four months off in summer seems to be enough that I don't hit that point. The end of each semester has me worn out and approaching burnout, but then I get plenty of time off to recharge.
Well a component of this is probably finding a job that is going to work for you. Easier said than done. If you're in university you should focus on trying different things and just getting experiences in different areas until you find something that clicks. Push yourself to try things that are scary and intimidating. Pick something that you arent sure you can do. You will be surprised what you can accomplish and that success will foster more focus and drive in you. Consider jobs where you don't know what you are going to have to face. I never know what my day will look like. Yesterday the electrical system in the hospital had a power surge and we had to navigate through that. If it's interesting you'll never be bored and you'll never really lose a desire to go do it.
Maybe my comment wasn't clear enough, I have a job that I find satisfying, teaching at a university. The five year job I had that forced repeatedly forced me off sick was as a health professional in a hospital, and it was very interesting, challenging and satisfying. But the repetition (not of the work with patients, which was endlessly varied) but just turning up at the same building every day, seeing the same collegues, keeping on top of paperwork, etc. was mentally exhausting.
The advantage to being a lecturer is that the commute, paperwork and stress is seasonal, so it doesn't just feel like an endless Sisyphian task. In a sense, it's less challenging and less satisfying work than my time in health (teaching a student something interesting isn't the same as saving someone's life!) but the work pattern works much better for me. I think that what the OP was describing about cyclical burnout might be something similar. There are lots of careers (many self employed) out there that are intensely busy for a block and then time off or starting a completely different project. When I start finding teaching too much (and I'm sure it'll happen eventually, but at least it's longer than a year!) I'll probably move into freelance coding or seasonal event management type stuff. Stuff where I can use my strengths of picking up stuff quickly and dealing with problems, but don't need to worry about the long haul.