this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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I'm not gonna lie, I learned some of my best moves by hitting that "Sure, I'm 18" button back in the day. Or I pirated it. And for previous generations, can you imagine age-blocking a box of porn in the woods?
Kids will find a way around this.
I'm not saying all of it is healthy but it doesn't necessitate a complete lockdown.
Ah yes, learning moves from porn. Like, we all know women love the finger fish hook in the mouth thing, the violent rubbing of the clit (until she has to physically move your hand away), the slapping of the face, the cock down the throat until she gags and phlegm comes out her nose etc etc.
I'm exaggerating, but still. Porn is not sex ed. Be careful with what you learn.
And I agree, the measures to prevent kids from seeing porn all seem very privacy invading and ineffective. Maybe education is the solution, but even the idea of talking to kids about sex seem to make people's heads explode for some reason.
Good sex as a whole is about experimenting, learning, respect, and, most importantly, consent. I personally wouldn't have learned how to be a bit creative without some help from porn.
Tips and tricks can lead to more fulfilling relationships.
Of course you can learn things from porn. But you have to know what you're dealing with first or else it'd be like learning physics from a Marvel movie.
That's why early age sex education is equally important. Porn isn't going away. Being proactive and teaching that there are ground rules to consent and that "no means no" is huge.
There should always be a clear line between experimentation and outright molestation and that's what modern sex ed should be emphasizing.
"Do you mind if we try this?" or "I saw this in a porno, can we try it?" should be normalized just as much as "When were you last tested?" or the simple "Are you ok with this? We're about to have sex, right?"
*Molestation might not the right word. I struggled to come up with one. I'm settling on non-consent unless someone can come up with a better term.
Are you assuming all women dislike the things you've mentioned? Because that's not true, and you can take a trip to sex friendly commnunities for women and quickly find someone who "likes it rough" or whatever. You can say most people might not like that, and that could be true, but there are still people who do.
If you want to teach sex ed with a better focus on sexual pleasure, then you can do that in the last year of high school or college (when everyone has already reached the age where they can legally have sex), whichever is preferable. We don't expect to learn maths from a sci-fi movie, but it certainly can inspire smart people to try for new scientific advancements - just like porn can inspire people to try new positions and techniques, if we actually educate people alongside so they're aware of what is or isn't necessarily pleasurable to everyone and that you should ask and talk to your partners to get to know what they're into. Instead of just assuming what they're into.
As a member of certain kink/fetish based communities I absolutely am not suggesting nor assuming that no women likes those things. I know very well. Are you making the argument that it's a good thing for sexually inexperienced youngsters to learn those types of things from porn as if it's the norm in sex and as if most women likes those things? So that they then assume that's what most sex is or should be like?
And what I meant with education is that you can include porn awareness in sex ed, kids will see porn whether you like it or not, they should at least understand what porn is - that it's not an educational forum but a commercial product to make money and the people in it are acting. They should not see porn as a source of knowledge about sex nor the opposite sex.
Also, humans start experiencing sexual pleasure way before any arbitrary age of sexual concent. Sex ed has to take that into consideration. I learned a bit about sexual pleasure, how to put on a condom etc, in school, at the age of 11 or 12 and I'm very glad I did. I should also have been taught what porn is and isn't.