Asklemmy

43913 readers

358 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

322

Visiting the US soon - do I really have to tip? (feddit.de)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

304 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

My view is: I don't like this cultural element, and I am glad that I live in a country without it. But if I am a visitor from abroad I would not resist the local culture and try to impose my own values. If I am aware of this cultural element and I dislike it, my options would be to either avoid restaurants and other tipping situations as much as I can, or simply account for the tip when making my financial decisions, and pay it.

If I live in the country then it is different, because then I am more entitled to be a driver of change. Personally, my approach would be to support businesses with explicit no-tipping policy, and to refuse receiving tips myself.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No one can force to tip and as Americans we hate the tipping culture too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Sort of

there are definitely restaurants which include gratuity, either for all parties or for parties greater than X people (e.g., 5 or more).

[–] Zombiepirate 2 points 1 year ago

You're right in that nobody can force you to tip, but it's part of the unwritten rules for eating at a sit-down restaurant. By not tipping, you've said that you don't care about the agreement you've made by sitting at the table.

It would be like saying "nobody can force you to stop cheating at Monopoly." While technically true, you'd still be an asshole if you did it, because you're breaking the unspoken agreement that you made when sitting down to play.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

One of the best answers so far, thanks! I'm not a foreigner, but I've been gone for over half my life, so it certainly feels like it. Coming back it always a culture shock.