this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Transfem

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It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.

Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓

But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.

This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.

What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

still waiting for a psychotherapist to diagnose me.

I recently got COVID and I hope, even if it may sound weird and shitty, that the mild symptoms still linger on so that I have a valid reason to neither host nor attend Christmas with my family. It fills me with dread to spend my first Christmas out of the closet with them.

On an unrelated note. I currently play Celeste. Or rather I just finished the main game. Damn was it a rollercoaster, but damn satisfying reaching the Summit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I hope that you're able to get your diagnosis soon. Waiting is the worst. :(

Totally feel you on the Christmas with family deal. I really hope that if you do have to see them that they are accepting and supportive. Even when they are, you still have to sort through all the first questions and reactions, and I know how horribly anxiety inducing waiting to hear what people think can be. I'd honestly use the COVID, even if it's already cleared up, as a bit of an excuse to limit contact, even if not outright refusing to go at all.

Yeah I really need to play Celeste 😅 I've seen people speedrun it and everything but somehow haven't played it myself, even tho it's totally my type of game lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah I really need to play Celeste 😅 I’ve seen people speedrun it and everything but somehow haven’t played it myself, even tho it’s totally my type of game lol.

I'm not really a perfectionist or someone who likes to feel punished for playing sub par. But Celeste... it really is encouraging to fail and learn. There were some really hard rooms that I had to redo over and over and over... but I wanted to prove to myself that I got this. Eventually, I finished my first run in 6 hours (with deaths around 1200).

I’d honestly use the COVID, even if it’s already cleared up, as a bit of an excuse to limit contact, even if not outright refusing to go at all.

I got them convinced that my symptoms are still severe enough that I don't want to infect them (my sister is running a retirement home, so it would be devastating) and they are now having to plan B, without me. So that's a relief :)

I hope that you’re able to get your diagnosis soon. Waiting is the worst. :(

It totally is. I should put my name on more waiting lists, to increase my chances to get an appointment earlier.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I feel you on the Christmas with family. My mom is transphobic and homophobic so I just don't want to be around her anymore, which makes Christmas kinda hard to pass through this year as I associate it with her.

Oh no way! I started another run of Celeste recently. Last time I played was about 3 years ago, before my egg cracked. Playing Celeste with my chosen name gives me such feels.