this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Thank you for putting this into words. I have come to realise the same thing over the years but have never been able to properly verbalise it!
I'm a heterosexual male. My sister is a lesbian, and through her, I was introduced to many lesbian (and gay) friends from a young age. And since then, I've often had lesbisn friends or acquaintances, and I've always found that I get on so much better with lesbians than straight women.
I feel with most lesbian women that I'm in the company of another man. It's so much easier to talk to them, without the background hum of sexuality that seems to come from interactions with straight women. I'm not blaming women for this, btw. I think it's just a male brain thing for me, but there is certainly some extra element when interacting with straight women that is absent around lesbians and that absence allows me to relax more and just be myself.
I think all people are affected by their sexuality, regardless how proper and civilized we are. It's that mammalian thingymajingy we just can't escape, none of us. From what I've read even asexuals are at times struggling with their libido pulling strings from the back of their brain.