this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
153 points (89.2% liked)
Asklemmy
43995 readers
1219 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I hate how everybody else gets to judge whether or not someone’s speech is offensive, regardless of what someone intended
That's just how humans are. It's not just about words but actions too. If you get drunk and drive your vehicle and hit and kill someone you go to jail. You didn't intend to kill anyone so why should you be held responsible? Sure intent matters but it's not the only thing that matters.
If you get drunk and drive, you had the intention to do something you knew could result in someone being killed. The intent very much matters in determining responsibility, and it's the reason you'd likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, but not murder.
Though some people have been convicted of murder in such cases.
My point wasn't that intent doesn't matter, it's that a lack of intent doesn't mean you can get off. You didn't intend to kill anyone but still get charged for killing them.
The only thing I hate is the impatience with which some people act when something offends them.
I get that anger or frustration is the motivator but if this person who offended you is not just some random asshole, speak up and explain first. Maybe some people aren’t pieces of shit, they’re just repeating phrases they’ve heard a million times and never thought about.
Not everyone’s had that moment of realization that there is a ton of colloquial slang that is (or has been repurposed to be) a really fucked up dog whistle.
Yeah it sucks but also it’s both gut feelings and self defense against bad actors.
Being a person is hard and that’s one of the ways. But also we get to decide how we respond to it. Some things like OP’s example naturally feel “oh fuck yeah I shouldn’t’ve said that” other things leave a conflict of opinion.
Words can hurt. And intentions matter when we hurt people but they aren’t the only thing that matters. Someone hurt in a car crash caused by you driving poorly may decide that they don’t want to give you another chance to drive with them in the car and that’s their choice.
How we respond to accidentally hurting people though will speak volumes about us. Do we apologize and attempt to change, ever striving to be a more positive force in everyone’s lives? Or do we lash out or respond with apathy, even when third parties say we’re in the wrong? I know who I’m trying to be, and I hope others see the value in that person.
I watched a college professor asking a Korean if they ever considered the work "Nega" (you) could be construed as offensive to people. Like, bruh.
The Spanish community having to pick a new name for a color (as if the new one wouldn't be used the same way).
Screw this racist comment! ;)