this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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ADHD

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/adhd
 

I'd like a small group with strict/well-defined meeting times that has a coach/conversation-conductor to keep topics on track. I feel like it would work really well if advice was given/received by others with ADHD, while having a leader do stuff like

  • make sure 1 person doesn't dominate the conversation
  • keep meeting notes
  • call/text people who miss a meeting
  • follow up with people who said they were going to do something

But I've never really heard of such a system.

I've found at least two online services, but I don't really know if they're worth trying. I'm curious on your opinion and/or if any of you have tried something similar.

There's "Study Hall" which I'm not sure is what I'm really looking for https://adult-study-hall-by-adhd-rewired.mn.co/sign_up?plan_id=230880

Then this site seems to have good coaching https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37252231

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Could you just find a small group of people? Set up a weekly time for a talk. I understand the paying aspect can help stick with stuff, and you would hope that a trained professional can give better advice than some random person with ADHD, but online services rarely employ truly trained professionals, and my personal experience is that I have consistently disappointed when paying for a professional to give me health advice. It was always something I could have googled, and I was always still left with the problem of having to apply the solution myself - no trained professional can talk the ADHD away, it's still there, every day.

On the other hand I have received tons of relevant info and advice from fellow ASD/ADHD people sharing their experiences. Practical, day-to-day stuff to trick oneself into doing the things.

What do you think needs improvement in your life?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience, and yeah I would be interested in a group. I am worried it would fall apart without some kind of penalty for not showing up. Over and over I've had the experience:

  • Volleyball club => I basically never show up
  • Volleyball class (with attendance) => never miss

At least part (but not most) of it is I can tell other people "I'm going to get penalized if I don't go" and then that person is okay with me not doing their event/request.

The bad advice problem is why I feel like, yes, a small group would be helpful, the advice would come from other people with ADHD not the coach. However, in my experience, a group of 5 people with ADHD takes about 45sec before the conversation goes off on a random tangent with the original topic never to be seen again. The coach would just be the conductor of the conversation. E.g. "hey joe, last week you said X, how is that going", making sure someone doesnt dominate the conversation, having a checklist, etc. That's why I feel like both combined would work well.

In terms of improvement, I'd like be able to get feedback on small things, like an email I'm hung up on that I need to respond to. Stuff that isn't really worth posting about, and may have personal details.

But also, I myself have gathered a lot of strategies, tools, and advice over the decades and I'd like to be able to share those with people. Posts are good, but with a low attention span it's best to give advice directly when it's needed instead of just "maybe you can use this 3 months from now"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I would suggest:

  1. find the small group of people
  2. hire a psychologist or moderator who offers online sessions over zoom - maybe somebody here knows of someone offering this service privately and not over a platform?