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Sometimes, less is more.
I would recommend trimming all your custom configuration from your router/firewall, one change at a time, until you can no longer reproduce the issue.
Or go the other way around: set up a barebones configuration, confirm the issue is resolved, and begin adding one customization at a time until it breaks.
How do your bufferbloat tests look?
https://www.waveform.com/tools/bufferbloat
It sounds like you have a lot of stateful inspection configured. YouTube's heavy usage of QUIC (i.e. UDP transport) may not play well with your config.
And, incidentally, what does your hardware look like?
Frankly, even the most barebones router should be able to handle YouTube. I am running pfSense in an ESXi VM, with passthru Intel gigabit NICs, 2 GB reserved RAM, and 2 vCPU (shared, but with higher priority than other VMs) on a Dell desktop with a second-gen i7 that was shipped from the factory in 2012.
Yes, I am routing on decade-old hardware. And I have never seen anything like what you are describing.
YouTube should "just work."
I am going to assume that if you're running OpenWRT, then you are probably using a typical consumer router? Please correct me if I am wrong.
Have you by any chance tried backing up your OpenWRT config and going back to stock firmware?
I know, I know, OpenWRT is great. I have a consumer router that I flashed with it to use strictly as a wireless AP.
But consumer devices flashed with vanilla OpenWRT tend to have very, very little resources left over to handle fun configurations.
And I have a feeling some of the fun configuration might be contributing to your issues.
After further investigation, apparently one of my routers 2.4G antennae is either held low or more likely fried. Sometimes the firmware is switching the working antenna more rapidly, enough to cause server outputs to look stable but other times it sticks on transmit or receive and doesn't toggle. Gradio is apparently not robust enough to compensate for the inconsistent connection.
It sucks because the router is from PCWRT and the dude updates and maintains the router and supplies a simplified interface. I've used it for years. It looks like LUCY has come a long way since I used it last. I have a couple of the same routers as the PCWRT router I was going to flash with OpenWRT, but the documentation for flashing this model is terrible. I guess I am going to need to figure out something going forward now. ...so yeah, maybe not YT.
When your layer 1 problem turns into a layer 3 problem 😅