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So since I now had a "quorate" cluster again, I thought I'd try out HA. I'd always been under the impression that unless you had a shared storage LUN, you couldn't HA anything. But I thought I'd trigger a replication and then down the 2nd node just as a test. And lo and behold, the first node brought up my OPNsense VM from the replicated image about 2 minutes after the second node lost contact, and internet starts working again.
I'm really excited about having that feature working now. This was a good night, thank you.
If you need another thing to do, you could try to make your opnsense HA and never have your internet stop working while rebooting a node. It's pretty simple to set up, you might finish it in 1-2 evenings. Happy clustering!
I'll look into that. I did see the option in opnsense once upon a time but never investigated it.