this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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How to handle "you're too sensitive" and other similar remarks? (self.autism)
submitted 1 year ago by BackOnMyBS to c/autism
39 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm learning that being told "you're too sensitive" and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.

How do you handle being told "you're too sensitive"?

What do you think would be a healthy response?

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[–] Deestan 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I try to keep in mind that everyone around me isn't acting with perfect and constant skill or patience in their interactions, and have their own issues and anxieties big or small.

By that I mean "you are too sensitive" tends to come from someone being frustrated that they don't know how to behave towards/around you. Often it helps a lot to forgive them the initial mistake of blaming you, assume their position for a bit, and approach them for a conversation starting with "yes, I am sensitive but it's not something I can turn off".

[–] BackOnMyBS 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I could see this approach working, and I will take it into consideration next time. However, in this case, this isn't the only instance of gaslighting. This person knows what they are doing and are certainly doing it purposefully.

[–] Deestan 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ah. So they are trying to shut you down for a weakness instead of accomodating it?

It sounds like you have the most important part handled already: noticing.

[–] BackOnMyBS 3 points 1 year ago

Yes! Thank you. My eyes are seeing it clearly now that it was pointed out 👀