this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I hate this way of putting it, especially because it puts the blame on a single gender. It's not JUST men who shoehorn people into gender roles, we all do it.

It's off putting to me and I tend to dismiss the entire thing because it basically says that men being bad also hurts men. Had it said that men also are victims of gender roles I would immediately agree, and I can't imagine that I'm the only one who feels this way.

[–] teruma 20 points 1 year ago (8 children)

That's why it's so important to specify that men are victims of patriarchy, not victims of men. Everyone, regardless of gender, has an environmental tendency to reinforce the societal structure that we label "Patriarchy", as you say (and I/many agree), but there's far more to it than the idea of "men first women second". The idea behind the phrase is not "everyone vs. men" but rather "everyone vs. harmful but deeply engrained social construct".

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Then why use the label "Patriarchy"? It has a very specific meaning that I don't feel applies to many western societies and definitely not to the sociatal structure and norms that we happen to live in, regardless of who is in charge. I think we agree on everything but the term.

[–] matter 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because it still puts men on top in most ways, even while it hurts them too.

And it definitely applies to all western societies.

You can see it in this very story. "Men are strong, they don't need help. Women are weak and emotional, that's why they need support." Yeah, it's devastating for men in this situation, but it's the same logic which makes people say men are natural leaders or whatever.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't forget that leadership is not a cakewalk either; it comes with responsibility and sacrifice. It is a burden as are most 'advantages' that men 'enjoy'.

[–] matter 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

In a just world it would be, but the consequence of being labelled and perceived as a "natural leader" is that one can get away with shirking their responsibility, avoiding sacrifice, and abusing their position without much repercussion.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That's fair enough. I guess it depends how you view leadership.

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