this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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My wife went through IVF, pregnancy and birth, our kid was in NICU with serious issue. Through IVF, the entire pregnancy birth and NICU stay, I was treated like a second class citizen. I went to every IVF, OB appointment and every other appointment. my wife was treated like the grand center of attention which is great, but I did feel the pressure to keep my mouth shut and essentially not be part of any discussion. I suppose a lot of deadbeat men and absent fathers have ruined it for men who actually show up for their wives and their families. Tough shit for me right.
I feel you.
My wife doesn't get extra parental (just the provincial 70/55%), I get topped up to 93%. Combined with other factors, it was pretty easy math that I'd get the lion's share of the shared weeks.
I get berated for it a lot. One nurse wouldn't see my kid until I she called my wife and confirmed she wasn't coming to the appointment.
It's really annoying constantly explaining that I am capable of being a caregiver to my child, that I don't miss working, and that I don't feel like I'm ruining my wife's chance to bond with our kid.
Haters can suck on my excellent fathering skills.
Reason number 19,475 to not try to be a father.