this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
92 points (98.9% liked)

Transfem

3422 readers
63 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Last week I got myself a tape measure, figured out some sizing things and ordered a cheap dress online. It looked good, and for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. I felt like I could actually pull of a transition and not look like an ugly man in a dress. I giggled and cried and it felt so good. The next day I went to the mall, got my ears pierced, bought all the girly things I was brave enough to in person. Then I paced around mac like a weirdo until I worked up the courage to go in and ask for help picking makeup. They were great and super helpful getting me some basics. When I went home, I put my dress on, and thought I'd take it slow and just put on some lipstick and paint my nails. When I saw myself, I felt like an ugly old man in lipstick, and it fucking ruined all the euphoria from before. I know I can get past that, do my makeup better and find something more comfortable, but I wanted to hang on to that feeling forever. I saw the woman I know I am inside for a moment and wanted the rest to just happen. It's not gonna be that easy though, is it?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So, here's a thing. You've grown up surrounded by transphobia and internalised it. It's the work of a life time to undo that. So my advice to you is to just try and keep that in mind. The voice telling you that you're "a man in a dress" is what years of internalised transphobia looks like.

There is no easy trick to make that voice go away, but you can remember what it is when it sounds in your head, and take away a lot of its power, and you can give yourself permission to go easy on yourself :)

You've got this

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Going easy on myself is gonna take some practice. Thank you ๐Ÿ’•