this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Spending time with people is how you get to know people better. It's how you make friends. You can start feeling something to some of them and it's ok to ask them out if that's the case. There's nothing in what jjjalljs wrote that says they were spending time with the people for the sole purpose of finding a date.
Except Referring to it not panning out as an ‘unpleasant’ experience. Connection alone should not be unpleasant. People who don’t put out should not be considered ‘unpleasant’
Well, getting rejected IS usually an unpleasant experience. You can value someone's friendship and still find it an unpleasant experience to be rejected by them. Then, ideally, you act grown up about it and you can remain friends. But the feelings can be pretty unpleasant.
Where did they say they found the connection or the person unpleasant? Did I overlook something?
I don't even know them and don't know how they really behave, but I feel like it's unfair to jump to the worst conclusions about someone based on just a few neutral lines of text.
Its not unfair. And it’s unfair of you to discount that this is indeed a very common problem with connection. Especially in the swipe culture we have surrounding us. It’s basic psychoanalysis of how this person uses language when discussing connection. And getting a feeling from a person for the words they use is valid. Especially if it’s about what kind of essence you put off Vs what you get back. Many other words can be used to described what you’re saying. Unpleasant used to generalize an experience of connecting with people instead of an explicit emotion of one thing was intentional summary and at best it was a bit of an easy reach for someone who isn’t genuine.