this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2023
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Autism
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This is my big problem. In a group where people are telling stories about themselves, when it’s my turn, my stories are inappropriate somehow. In 50+ years, I still haven’t figured out what I say that’s wrong,
I’ve spent ages analysing my stories compared to others and I can’t figure out the difference, and no one will tell me. Is it the content (seems comparable) or how I tell it?
It seems better to just say ‘pass’ in those situations and stop engaging.
I suspect most of the time, when folks won't tell you what you did wrong, they don't really know themselves. Either that or it's some stupid power play thing where they think you're trying to challenge their status.
Other option - tell the stories you want to tell, and everyone just has to learn that's what to expect from you.
Thank you, that helps.
Although if it’s that, I’ll never figure it out. I can’t even begin to relate to that enough to identify it.
Are you being inappropriate or are you just misreading their reaction? My brother, who is neurodivergent, got very upset recently because he said he made a joke that offended everyone he worked with over a video chat. When I got the details from him, what actually happened is no one laughed and he thought that meant he had offended them.
I’m not sure there’s a correct answer to that, because the answer is technically yes, I think I’ve been inappropriate sometimes but also yes, I’ve been been told to stop sharing by several peers as an adult in several different settings, but not by anywhere near the number of peers I had.
Logically, it doesn’t make any sense to let a tiny percent outweigh the majority. It doesn’t feel nice, though.
e: tried to clarify