ADHD

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Language for "Want" (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/adhd

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So, I have come to the conclusion that the word "want" in my brain has two closely related meanings.

Something I want right now for the dopamine. Ex Ice Cream.
Something that I want for my self long term. Ex to be healthy.

It is hard enough to organize my thoughts normally, but when I have competing wants like Ice Cream, vs to be healthy. It really sucks to have the same word for both.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there other words that you use to help separated these ideas in your head?

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[–] Acamon 8 points 11 months ago

In philosophy there's a term "second order desire" which is "wanting to want" something. So, when you want ice cream it's a first order desire, you just want it. But when you want to eat healthily, it's often a desire for wellbeing, long-term goals, etc. Not a sudden urge for carrots.

The challenge for adhd is that second order desires aren't that motivating. When I'm in a sporadic fitness phase (seems to hit for a few weeks every few years) then I really want to exercise (first order desire). I'd rather do exercise than play on my phone or watch TV. But the rest of the time I want to want to do exercise (to be fit) and if I had a magic wand or a pill I could take I'd prefer that to the exercise, because it's not something I genuinely want for itself. But going for a walk somewhere beautiful, or going dancing with friends, are things I genuinely want to do, so are easy to achieve. And they have a byproduct of being some physical exercise.