this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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I see guys at the urinal with both hands on their hips and I wonder how they do that without peeing in their pants. I assume they must have huge hogs that reach the urinal and rest on the bottom. Mine is more like one of those wacky sprinklers where the spray hoses flail around everywhere when you turn on the water. I have to use my hand to control it, or it turns into a freaking Gallagher show, and nobody signed up for that.
Assert dominance. Piss on the floor.