Not The Onion

11437 readers

2150 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

kescusay

1021

'Scripture is very clear': New House Speaker tells Congress God has 'ordained' them (www.alternet.org)

submitted 9 months ago by seaQueue to c/nottheonion

328 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, in his first remarks after being elected Wednesday afternoon, told Members of Congress that “Scripture” and “the Bible” are clear that they have been “ordained” by God.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 69 points 9 months ago (2 children)

“I don’t believe there are any coincidences in a manner like this. I believe that Scripture, the Bible is very clear that God is the one that raises up those in authority. He raised up each of you, all of us. And I believe that God has ordained and allowed each one of us to be brought here for this specific moment in this time. This is my belief. I believe that each one of us has a huge responsibility today, to use the gifts that God has given us to serve the extraordinary people of this great country and they deserve it.”

That includes the Democrats, right?

[–] captainlezbian 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

On but that includes like Stalin too, like does he not hear his words?

[–] Kase 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

God totally "raises up those in authority," he just makes oopsies ~~here and there~~ all the fucking time.

Or maybe he's evil. Or he changes his mind a lot. Or maybe, possibly, y'know... the dude doesn't exist.

[–] abigscaryhobo 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nonono you see God raises up all the "good" people, all the "bad" people were godless heathens.

See the "good" people appeal to Gods followers by claiming to be a prophet of gods wisdom and telling them to vote for them on faith. The "bad" people tricked and manipulated others into gaining their power by posing as false prophets and liars.

Do you see the difference?

[–] Kase 4 points 9 months ago

they're the same picture .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠·⁠.

[–] teamevil 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Jesus tap dancing on a cracker Christ maybe just maybe it's Satan‽

[–] bmsok 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I prefer the simpler Jesus Backflipping Christ but I love yours, too

[–] teamevil 2 points 9 months ago

I felt I needed to chose violence