I've been slowly, but steadily collecting more and more people to miss, Watching my finances get worse and worse. My body is starting to fall apart. My life is boring, lonely and grueling. Every time I take a step forward in one area I take a step back in all the others. Therapy has been worse than useless, loved ones stop caring eventually, casual friends just disappear into the ether without a trace.

I wish I hadn't gotten "lucky" during my previous suicide attempts, because I definitely can't try that anymore. I wish someone could just do it for me, without me ever expecting it.

But your 30s are supposed to be easier. More stable. It's hard to believe that'll be the case for me, going into them with no connection to my past, no money, no marketable skills.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I wasn't a bad person in my 20s, but I was stupid and thought I was smart. There's a lot to learn that you learn after a few years as an adult: you learn what's important, and what's just a waste of time. As you get older, you have fewer and fewer fucks to spare for the waste of time stuff.