this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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Autism
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oh.my.god...You put words on an experience I have several times each day that I didn't know how to express. Literally, 99% of everything I agree to do or schedule to do for myself feels like an obligation. It can be dinner with a friend, getting a massage, going to sleep, waking up, going on vacation, showering, or trying on shoe sizes. Nearly EVERY SINGLE THING I SCHEDULE is preceded by me regretting to have scheduled it, followed by me being upset that I have to do it. If it was something I enjoyed, I would then get upset with myself afterwards for wanting to avoid it, followed by taking a futile note to not want to avoid it next time. Why is this a thing? It's so exhausting.
Could this be an ADHD thing also? On the few occasions that I have taken an ADHD stimulant, I have actually been excited to do something
This is how my wife and I are, as well. It really is exhausting.
I think some of it is a level of social anxiety. Some of it is this feeling of not wanting to "waste" our time (even though we understand rationally that doing nothing is usually the more objective waste). Some of it is a constant feeling of exhaustion, and a fear that whatever thing we are planned for will result in us feeling even more exhausted. And maybe part of it is simply depression.
I don't know, but it's not a super healthy-feeling way to go through life, that's for sure.
Sucks that you guys are going through that. Hopefully, you guys could figure a way out.
Hey, you too buddy. Thanks. As with anything there are ups and downs. We just take each day as it comes.